In the short 11 years I had my Mother on this earth, she bestowed some very important values in my life. One of them being, Marriage.
My Mother’s marriage to my Father was definitely not an easy one. My Father was an functioning alcoholic, verbally abusive, extremely jealous, and an overall pain in the ass but we all loved him; including my Mother. Despite all his dysfunction, she would never leave him. She protected her children and did what she had to do, but still, loved this man she married. As a child growing up in a Roman Catholic home and church, Marriage was taken to be sacred. The vows, For Better or For Worse…..Until Death Do Us Part, were also sacred. These are the values my Mother taught me. Marry once and deal with what you have.
One of my Mother’s favorite songs was by Tammy Wynette, Stand By Your Man. I remember as a child singing this with my Mother and her getting teary eyed. If you look at the lyrics below, this is exactly what my Mother was doing. She loved her dysfunctional husband to no end, forgiving his weaknesses, but not forgetting.
Stand By Your Man
Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You have bad times, and he’ll have good times
Doing things that you don’t understandBut if you love him, you’ll forgive him
Even though he’s hard to understand
And if you love him, oh be proud of him
‘Cause after all, he’s just a manStand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonelyStand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your manStand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
“Image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.
When I think about my Marriage, I did indeed go into it thinking this is it. I don’t believe in divorce, under normal circumstances. I believe in Stand By Your Man, and as some of you know, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. It truly isn’t an easy thing to do, but I’m trying and doing the best I can. So is my husband.
No one is perfect. We all make mistakes, although some are more extreme than others. It is human to err. There are reasons we do the things we do, although at the time we may not understand why.
There are many reasons why marriages fall apart. We all know this. As an outsider, it’s easy to judge and give advice on what that person should or shouldn’t do. However, no one know exactly what goes on behind the closed doors of a marriage, other than the two (2) parties involved.
Women stay in abusive relationships and it’s easy to say “WHY? GET OUT OF THAT MARRIAGE!” However, the a woman who stays has many reasons. It could be providing for her children; finances; or the fact that she truly loves him and knows he is going through a “crisis” of some sort and has Faith it will all work out.
Women stay and fight for their marriage when there has been a betrayal or infidelity of some sort. Why? Because she could see more in this man than we do. There are reasons for the betrayal or infidelity and it’s just possible, she may forgive him in order to move forward and strengthen their bond.
It doesn’t always work out though and sometimes you simply just can not Stand By Your Man. Who am I to judge? Who are you to judge?
As individuals with our own heart, soul, and body, it is solely up to us to choose our fate. If you are one who prefers to Stand By Your Man no matter what, power to you. If you are one who chose to no longer try because you could no longer see a future, power to you as well.
Don’t allow others to judge you for your actions in your marriage. Remember, it’s YOU who comes first when choosing your fate. For now, and for reasons I may later disclose, I choose to Stand By My Man.
Have you ever been in a situation where you had to choose to Stand By Your Man or leave that man behind? If you’d like to share your story with My Girly Parts and our readers, please let me know. I’d love to have you as a Contributor!.
