Destinations Magazine

Snowden Gets His Walking Papers

By Mendeleyeev

Whistleblower Edward Snowden “has left the building” as the American expression goes. This is probably a good thing as frankly, it was tiring to hear Western news anchors butcher the name of Sheremetyevo (Шереметьево), one of Moscow’s three main airports. As time marched on, news reporters began to refer to it as “Moscow’s international airport” or “the Moscow airport” or the “airport in Moscow.”

Russia’s Federal Migration Service issued Snowden with a certificate of asylum, giving him up to one year to enjoy getting to know a fascinating country and a great culture.

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One could not help but chuckle at the Moscow Times list of “10 Tips for a Free Snowden” and when we’re done chuckling we might add some of our own but for now, the MT has compiled a cool list including number 3 on the list: But one thing you probably haven’t experienced yet is Russian female companionship — considered by some expats to be the country’s most precious natural resource after oil.

The Moscow Times suggested that he take a pass on the tweeted marriage proposal from former sleeper spy Anna Chapman, on the grounds that “since she has spent so much time thinking she was a foreigner she doesn’t count as a local anymore.”

We also like number 5: If you can’t afford a mini-sub ride or a flight with cranes, stop by the Moscow Zoo — a must-see for visitors anyway — and try to wrestle a tiger. Make sure a crowd is watching.

The FSB has offered Snowden round-the-clock protection. If they bill you for it, refuse to pay  it, Edward. Don’t worry, they’ll be close at hand everywhere you go, with our without your acceptance of the offer.

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