I received the following e-mail today, I’ve received several like it and it’s been coming up in questions at my talks as well so I thought this would be a good day to talk about it:
I was on [a Size Acceptance blog] and I saw in the comments where someone who said that they are normal weight and new to HAES asked a basic question and the blogger told them to “just Google it” and said that she’s not responsible for educating them, and that it’s not the oppressed person’s job to educate their oppressor, and demanding that they admit their thin privilege. I’ve actually seen this type of reaction a few times. Shouldn’t we be doing everything we can to help people who are just coming to Fat Acceptance and HAES? Can you please put the smack down on this?
Let’s start here – there will be no smack put down. Those bloggers are completely within their rights to choose not t0 answer questions, and to direct people to whatever resource they choose. They are absolutely allowed to write a blog and not answer questions about what they blog about, nobody is obligated to educate others in the way that the others want. Some people choose to do this type of education work and some don’t and those are both completely legitimate choices.
I believe that there is room in the fat-o-sphere, and in activism in general, for a lot of different people attacking size oppression, bullying, and stigma from many different angles. I think that’s a good thing, and I’m not a fan of suggesting that all bloggers/activists should be the same or, even worse, that there is a “right way” to be a blogger, activist etc.
One tenet of anti-oppression work is that the oppressed are never obligated to educate their oppressors. No matter how well intentioned someone is with their questions, or where they are in their journey, it’s not ok to insist that other people educate them.
The people being asked these questions can suggest whatever resources they choose. I don’t typically suggest that people “just Google it,” especially when it comes to Health at Every Size and Size Acceptance, since there’s no telling what they’ll find (including troll communities). I’m also aware that there are some theories that would suggest that it’s best for thin fat activists to do work themselves and educate each other about size stigma and oppression. People are absolutely allowed to do that, I personally think that there are too many discussions about fat people that don’t include us, so if it were up to me I would much prefer that fat people who are interested in educating those asking the questions be involved in these discussions.
I choose to answer questions, including basic questions about HAES and Size Acceptance. The main reason I do this is because the first time I heard many of these questions was when I asked them, and someone took the time to answer them for me. I’m able to make this choice because of the position I’m in due to a combination of things including my choices, circumstances, luck, hard work, and privilege, and I want to take advantage of those things and use them to their best outcome and, for me, answering questions from people who are at the start of the journey is part of that for me.
But that’s just my choice, it isn’t any better or worse than any other choice, and it doesn’t have to be anyone else’s choice. The fact that you choose to be open about your Health at Every Size and/or Size Acceptance journey does not mean that you have to become a HAES/SA educator and answer every question you get. You can refer people to blogs, books, other resources, to Google if you want to. You can choose to fight your own oppression (or not) in whatever way you are comfortable and you don’t owe anybody answers, education, or activism on their terms.
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