Politics Magazine

Should You Ask If a Man Is Gay?

Posted on the 30 April 2015 by Calvinthedog

Gay but don’t know writes:

I really like your information but i think that if u work hard enough to hide your sexuality it will work. This is a known fact by me because i do it all the time with my friends and family. The truly people who u should trust about your homosexuality is really your BFF who should probably be a girl. This is my opinion of how to hide your sexuality.

There are some guys that I know are gay but of course I am never going to say that to them. Why should I? What’s there to say? “Hey dude I think you’re a fag!” I mean there’s nothing to talk about. I think it’s rude to talk about someone’s homosexuality that way anyway. Maybe he doesn’t want to be so out.

On the other hand, when I meet people I assume are straight, I often figure that out right away and comment something along those lines if he is going to be my friend. “Well I can see you like girls…” I would never ask someone if they were gay. What a rude thing to ask!

Even if I had a friend who I suspected, well, this would never happen because gay men simply do not befriend me. I am basically a maniacal pussy hound, so most men who befriend me do so in the context of frequent conversations about women and sex. Gay men never talk about women and having sex with them and I’ve never met a gay men who pretended to be straight, although I met some pretty funny bisexual guys who seemed to have beards. But both of those guys never looked at a woman, never talked about women ever, never talked about sex with women, and they both gave off the most massive gay vibes like you could not believe. If they were pretending to be straight, they sure were doing a lousy job of it.

I just assume that any guy who is hanging around with me is straight. Every now and then I confirm the obvious just to make sure. But I am not worried about, “What if this guy I am hanging around with is a fag oh noes!” If he’s gay, he’s probably going to hit on me almost immediately. I have befriended many gay and bisexual men, and almost all of them came onto me or started flirting with me almost immediately. I assume that’s just what they do. If I’ve been hanging around with him for a while, he hasn’t hit on me yet and he seems to be really into chicks, I am not going to worry about it.

Even if I befriend a gay guy and he hits on me, it’s not the end of the world, and I have been through this so many times anyway. Just turn them down and don’t freak out. They’re not going to rape you or anything like that. I don’t know why straight guys are all worried, “Whoa dude is that guy a fag man!? I would not want to hang around with him. He seems like a fag!” It’s just a dumb thing to worry about.

Now if you are a woman, you may have other reasons for asking a question like that.

But if you have been involved with a man for a while and he is always looking at you in a sexual way, always looking at women, always talking about women and sex and trying to engage in sexual activities with you a lot of the time, I would assume he’s certainly not gay.

Gay men typically have rather strange and cold relationships with the women they date as beards or covers.

Often the women involved with these men say they seldom if ever look at them in a sexual way, never look at women, never talk about women, seem to be excessively interested in men, male bodies and male activities, have some rather hazy and suspicious male friends, and don’t like to have sex much and when they do, they often like doggy style from the rear (I assume so they can fantasize they are with a man).

They often display a strong aversion to cunnilingus. Often they will have a lot of posters of men on their walls of magazines full of pictures of men such as body builders, male athletes, etc. They often spend far too much time with and seem to be far too close to some of their suspicious male friends. In a number of cases, gay men are frequently impotent during sex with their woman.

If you are a woman who is involved with a man and you have a reasonable suspicion that he is gay or bisexual, you really ought to know that for a lot of reasons. Honestly though, this stuff isn’t rocket science, and it’s insipid to ask men with obviously strong drives towards women if they are gay. It is almost the dumbest question you could possibly ask and it is very insulting.

The real problem is bisexual men. Even though I don’t swing that way, I have known quite a few of these men, and all the rules go out the window with them. They often act no more gay than you, me or any other man. They can be shockingly masculine. They can hide it quite well. I think in a lot of cases, it might be very hard for a woman to detect a man who is a strong bisexual or a straight-leaning bisexual. And the vast majority of men with bisexual interests lean straight, often dramatically so.

A real problem here is that bisexual men are typically notorious liars with the women they are involved with. They figure, probably correctly, that if they identify as bisexual, few women will want to be involved with them. They want to continue having sex with women, and they figure being open is sexual suicide. So they typically lie and lead double lives.

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