Politics Magazine

Shitty Pretentious Thought of the Day

Posted on the 16 September 2017 by Calvinthedog

The purpose of life is not to live in reality. The purpose of life is to escape reality. Dammit.

Screw all that grab life by the horns crap. The Hell with reality.

Think about it. You just know I’m right.

If you’re a man with a pretty face and a dash of bad boy debonair, get your head full of a bunch of shitty pretentious thoughts like that, corral a comely female with a smile near you, put a few drinks in her, turn on the Game/Magic, and start rattling off aphorisms like this. Add a dash of delicious twinkle in the eye and an air of lofty, omnipotent, devil may care gravitas.

Watch her eyes dance in the lights with every word. Listen to the tinkle of her laugh. Marvel at the toss of her hair.

Catch that music. Follow the dancing ball. Now that you’ve got the rhythm, you can’t go wrong.

And now you rule the world. Don’t lie. You know you do.

No matter who or where you are, you will not sleep alone tonight.

And so this piece, which began with one shitty pretentious thought, doth end with yet another.

See you in the Morning of No Regrets!


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