Sans Nail

Busy day todayWalk dogs - checkReflexology - checkMeeting - checkSun shower - checkGet toe nail removed - check
The toe nail was the big oneIt was so hard and thick That there was only one thing for itIt had to goSo today was the day
I arrived at the doctors at threeThe nurse took me to the surgeryAnd chatted about this and that as she prepared for the doctorIt took him an age to appearBut he finally didHe is very much in demand don't you know
First it was the anaesthetic They warned me that this was the worst partThey weren't wrongHe had to inject directly in to my toeBeside the boneNo less than four timesI hid my face in my hands And cursed like a sailorIt hurt like a mother f.....
I was then left to my own devices Until the anaesthetic worked its magicI was well boredI looked around the roomInspected the implements on the table beside meAnd generally wished that the whole palava was over
My doctor came backAnd this time he had a friendAnother younger doctorWho wanted to observeExcellentNow I had a freakin' audienceThe doctor took a tool called a divider And began to work under the nailI had to watchI had to see what was going onBut then it was suggested that I don't lookSo I lay back in the couchAnd prayed for no painUnfortunately I could feel every thingAnd told him soCue more anaesthetic And more waiting
This always happens to meI seem to need double the anaesthetic that a normal person needsIt always happens in the dentist tooAs my mother says I must be becoming immune to drugs
The doctor returnedAnd we began againI could feel pressureIt wasn't sore as suchBut just knowing what he was doing was enough to make me squirmIt must have taken him about ten minutes to pride off the nailBut it felt like an eternityFinally I looked downAnd it was doneNail removed Operation overOh the relief The sweet reliefIt felt so hop to have it over and done with
The doctor leftAnd the nurse applied a bandageIt all looked very neat and tidyAnd I was one satisfied customerI hobbled out to the waiting room Where my sister was waiting for meWe collected our respective meds And headed home
I got straight in to my pyjamasAnd made a hot cup of sweet teaIt was a difficult dayBut a good one