It's no secret that the phrase "sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but names will never hurt me" was only invented to help build inner fortitude. It's not true. Rude words hurt. They hurt bad. There's no excuse to bully or belittle people, ever. Never. In my home-town the papers are filled with an account in which a (male) radio announcer called a fellow (female) journalist a number of names too rude to print here. The rude-mouthed man is now claiming retaliation, precedent and tit-for-tat as excuses for his behavior. Valid reasons. When you're 5. Maybe not even then. As a grown up, those reasons, plus sour-grapes, misunderstanding, lack of sleep, or any other idea you can dream up don't work.
In my pre-children days I worked in the Construction Industry. I was often, in fact almost always, the only woman on site. Over my years at work I've had dirt kicked at me, my foot spat on, a stapler thrown at my head, and my hand offered to shake ignored... amongst other things. I've been called many a name, not my own, and I've witnessed others being mistreated. In the early years I was uncertain what to do, intimated, shy, I often winced, wore it and walked on. Not now. No way.
I remember one instance where I was still relatively junior, and an 'important man' called the Interior Designer a variety of horrible things (because he had misread the drawings and assumed she had 'ripped him off' in some way). She started to cry. I watched this lady in her late-forties trying to take it on the chin, and it made me so angry that I had to step in. I took a moment to breathe deeply, then asked everyone else to leave the room. Above all else, I remember asking Mr Importance what he would do if his wife, sister or daughter (he had all of these) came home and said, "guess what a guy said to me today?" He turned red, purple, then white. He agreed to apologize personally to the lady he'd tormented, then leave the site, go away for a while, and come back another time with a public apology. He followed through. I'd like to say it made me feel better. It didn't. The things he said still ring in my ears today, years later, and I was only the witness of his "it's only words" attack.
This is off topic for this blog - I'm sorry - but it's also my little space to rant and rave, and I know that even 'big things' in news-land disappear without a trace within a matter of hours, or days, a week at most. So to the man on radio, the guys on construction sites, and everyone else; rude is never right. Never.
