Rest Day

Today is a break from the A - Z ChallengeSo I thought I would take the opportunity to do a personal updateAs I haven't done one in over a week I thinkThings are ticking along nicely I'm going to my meetings Appointments Walking the dogsEating my meals And horse riding Apparently I am going to be in a dressage show next month Which I am super anxious about It's basically doing a little routine with the horse WAlking and trotting around an obstacle course I did it for the first time last weekAnd found it quite tricky Someone calls out the instructions And you have to be on the ball Listening And acting promptly Usually myself and Star are behind another horse during our lessonAnd Star literally follows and copies who ever is in front of him But when it was just me and StarHe wasn't taking my instructions at allHe wouldn't trot for meAnd he was generally doing his own little course And I was left practically hanging off the side of himI asked Eilish if I was going to be ready in time for the competitionAnd she assured me that she wouldn't put me in the show If she didn't believe I could do it So that gave me a little boost of confidenceI have three more lessons before the showAnd hopefully I can squeeze in some e yea ones tooBut As nervous as I am I really want to do the show I think there will be lots of learning for me And it might help my confidence tooAll I can do is my best As long as I do that That's all the matters 
In other news I'm feeling good at the moment My mood is stable My meds are on trackAnd am taking them correctly I'm attending meetings twice a weekI have lots going on Including the Pilates Which I write about a few days agoI think I will go back this week And see how I get on Despite having to look at the very thin girlI'm also starting a dance class too Which I'm really looking forward toI really want to learn salsa And how to jiveJiveing is really popular here at the moment And I think it looks like great funIt's something social to do that doesn't revolve around alcohol either Which is good for me My food is going okIt's not fantastic But it's not terrible either I gues it's bearable I can live with itAnd it doesn't interfere with my life too much I'm not weighing at all right nowI'm just going by how I feel Rather than my weightMy clothes fitI feel healthy and strong And that's good enough for me
I inquired about my job And my disability paymentIt turns out I can work twenty hours a weekAnd keep my benefit So that's something I need to think about After twenty hours My benefit will be cut on a sliding scale It's really hard to know what to doI've asked quite a few people what they thinkSome say I should just do the jobAnd forget about my benefitOthers say I should try and keep my benefitAs once you are taken off it It's incredibly hard to get back on itI have to remember that this job is seasonalAnd come September I might have no job againAnywayI will work something out 
So All in all Things are good I'm the best I've been in a long time And that is amazing I don't relax though I never relax I know I am only one drug away from relapsing The same with my EDI think it's healthy to have a certain amount of  fear with your addictionIt's good as it keeps you on your toes And afraid to use or drink Complacency will just not go at all 
With that said I was wondering about you What keeps you going every day?What gets you out of bed in the morning?Inquiring mind nods want to know....