The lame charges keep pouring out of the Institution for the Dangerously Mentally Ill known as Randy’s blog over in Atascadero.
I find that much of this nonsense gets passed around uncritically on the Internet, so it ought to make sense to respond.
First of all, I must say that the level of discourse is frighteningly low. I would not attack my worst enemies in these ways. I would never make up a lie about anyone, including my worst enemies. If they are my worst enemies, why should I have to make stuff up about them? Obviously they are no good in some way or another, but if I have to make up lies about them, that implies that they are good people, and why would I hate a good person?
I would never attack anyone on the following basis. Anyone who attacks people on these bases, I feel, is not a human being. They are simply a piece of shit who ought to be killed.
You’re ugly. I would not attack my worst enemy for being ugly or homely. What’s wrong with being homely? There is nothing whatsoever wrong with not being attractive. Not everyone can be beautiful. Anyone who attacks another human being for being homely is a subhuman. Furthermore it is the better looking people who are always being told that they are ugly. And the best looking people of all get called ugly the most. Crazy.
You’re gay. Is there something wrong with being gay? I would not attack my worst enemy for being gay. What’s wrong with being gay? Anyone who attacks people for being gay is a very bad person, barely even a human.
You never get laid. This one amazes me. All over the Internet, I see people ranting and raving at other adults, accusing them of never having sex. How in God’s name would they know if they never have sex, if they ever have sex, or how often they have sex? There is no way to know this about anyone you see on the Net.
Furthermore, what’s wrong with not having sex? I do not hate men who have no luck with women. Women can be difficult if not impossible sometimes. One of my best friends was a virgin at age 50. He was 100 times better person than 95% of the posters at Randy’s site. Why does not having sex make you a bad person? Why does the frequency with which you have sex imply whether you are a good or bad person?
You live with your Mom. All over the Net I see people accusing adult men of living in their Mom’s basement. How could you ever know that anyone you see on the Net lives with their mother, much less in her basement? There is no way to determine this. I suspect that this charge is not accurate 98% of the time. How many adult men live in their Mom’s basement?
Anyway, what’s wrong with living with your Mom? In the small Sierra town where I lived, many middle aged men moved back in with their mothers after a nasty divorce. Their kids were grown. Further, many middle aged people move home to care for parents. I would not attack my worst enemy for living with a parent. There’s nothing wrong with an adult living with a parent.
You don’t make any money. What are you, a Republican? The best people are those who make the most money and the worst people are those who make the least. Well, I always thought it was the other way around. I would not attack my worst enemy for not having any money. Having a low income does not make you a bad person.
You are a pedophile. This one is chronic. All over the Net, males accuse other males of being “pedophiles.” How could you possibly determine if someone is a pedophile or not by observing them on the Internet? There is no way to tell, obviously. This is a false charge 99% of the time at least. True pedophiles are rare.
Child molesters are a lot more common, but surely most folks accused of being molesters on the Net are innocent. Child molesters are not very common. I have only met one in my entire life, and I have met countless people. I know a lot about this issue as I work in mental health and I have actually worked with a couple of true pedophiles. In addition, I have to do differential diagnosis with pedophilia all the time, and I almost always rule it out.
You look like a pedophile/rapist/serial killer. As someone who works in mental health, let me assure you that there is no such thing as looking like a rapist/child molester/serial killer. What does a rapist look like? No one knows. Most of them don’t look like anything special. What does a child molester look like? Nothing. They generally look like the guy next door. What does a serial killer look like? Not much of anything, although some of them might look rather cold and mean. But the world is full of very cold and mean looking people who never spend a day in jail in their lives.
I would like to add that it would be very nice if we could somehow spot these folks because then it would be so much easier to catch them! We could follow them around, put them under surveillance, interview people who know them, investigate their life histories and unsolved crimes in the areas where they lived, etc.
Ask any detective or FBI profiler if they can spot these folks as they are walking around in society. See how hard they laugh when you ask them that. I must say in that my entire life, I have not met one person who looked like a child molester, a rapist or a serial killer. There is a child molester who is probably a pedophile who works at the local market. I knew him for years before I found that out about him. I never thought for one second, “That guy looks like a pedophile.” I just thought he was a sort of sleazy looking middle aged Mexican guy, however that describes about 50% of the middle aged Mexican guys in my town.
One thing that I have noticed is that these pedophile/rapist/serial killer charges are usually leveled at the most innocent looking men you have ever seen. A lot of these guys look sort of nerdy. Many wear glasses and look like the introverted studious type. Is this what people actually believe? Do they believe that most molesters, rapists and serial killers are introverted, studious, brainy, bespectacled nerdy types?
I have been studying these criminals for much of my life and I know more about them than most anyone you will ever meet. I assure you that most rapists, serial killers and even molesters do not look like dorky nerds. In fact, it is quite uncommon for a dorky nerd type to be such an evil criminal. Most dorky nerd types are just that, dorky nerds, and in general, they are shy, meek, kind, sensitive people who commit little or no crime and have very high morals. Where on Earth did society get this lunatic notion that most dangerous criminals look like awkward nerds? That is so weird.
You are stupid. This one is strange because it is typically only leveled at people who are bright. The smarter you are, the more you get called stupid. This makes no sense. Furthermore, it is difficult to determine someone’s IQ level by reading their writing. Anyone who thinks they can look at someone’s writing and give a figure for their IQ is out of their head. There is no way to do this. Anyway, some high IQ people cannot write very well.
You cannot write. This one is odd, as is it only leveled at good writers. The better of a writer you are, the more you get accused of being a lousy writer. And the best writers get accused of this more than anyone else. This makes no sense. If you write well, people will tell you. The people to listen to are published authors, magazine editors, creative writing professors, English professors, journalism professors, other professors, high school teachers and bright people in general. All of these types of people have been praising my writing to the skies since I was in grade school. I think I will listen to them and not some subhumans on the Net. If you can’t write worth a damn, not one person is ever going to tell you you are a great writer.
You are autistic/Aspergers. This one is truly bizarre. I constantly see people being accused of being Aspies on the Net. I happen to work in mental health, and I have to do diagnosis including differential diagnosis all the time. Suffice to say that there is almost never a case where you could read someone’s prose and determine that they are Aspie. There is no such thing as writing like an Aspie. There is no such thing as Aspie writing. Anyone who thinks they can diagnose Aspergers based on someone’s prose is out of their head.
You are a narcissist. Well anyone who blogs is obviously narcissistic. Aside from that, it is often hard to tell if someone is narcissistic based on their writing. Furthermore, most people are so damn stupid that they do not even know what narcissism is.
I have met and had conversations with quite a few famous people, including authors, professors and whatnot. I must tell you that many famous people are horrific assholes. They have egos the size of solar systems. So are they narcissists? I do not think so. Narcissism is so much more than egotism, and anyway, fame, money, power and egotism go hand in hand. Most famous, rich or powerful people have gigantic egos as it goes with the territory. As someone who works in mental health, I do not feel that most of these people are clinically narcissistic and they certainly do not have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Unfortunately when you get towards Hollywood, you start seeing a lot of pathological narcissism.
Keep in mind that I have to diagnose narcissism. I am working with a client right now who has this as an issue. He does not have NPD, and he isn’t even particularly narcissistic. He is just solipsistic and worries too much.
Some bloggers do seem narcissistic, but this is uncommon. However you do see narcissism in spades in the Manosphere and especially on PUA/Game blogs, where it is truly out of control.
You are obviously mentally ill. It is extremely difficult to diagnose mental illness based on someone’s prose. I read people’s prose all the time, and I almost never decide that this person is mentally ill unless they are describing some sort of symptoms. Persons who have mental disorders do not necessarily write in any particular way, and our finest writers had mental illnesses at a very high frequency, but it was never apparent in their writing.
I will admit that an actively schizophrenic person writers in a pretty strange way, and sometimes you can ever diagnose schizophrenia based on a writing sample. Depressives and people with anxiety disorders do not write differently from anyone else. Even manics do not write differently, although I can determine that a friend of mine is manic by his emails. I have never read one snippet of prose on the Net and decided that this person is manic.
Bottom line is that a person’s degree of mental health is almost always impossible to determine by looking at someone’s prose. The only way to determine such things is by observation and talking to the person.
You obviously have terrible social skills. This one is truly bizarre. How could you possibly determine someone’s social skills by a writing sample? What insanity. There is no way whatsoever to determine someone social skills level by reading their writing unless they are writing about such things. Anyone who thinks they can figure out someone’s level of social skills by their prose is out of their head.
Your politics sucks, and therefore you are evil. This one has always amazed me. Now I am not wild about conservatives, but I would not criticize my worst enemy based on their politics. I may make exceptions for certain fanatics such as political racists, jihadis, fascists, Nazis, ultranationalists, etc. Having odd or objectionable politics does not make you a bad person. Most everyone I have known in life has had crappy politics in some way or another. You can’t go around hating people for their innocent political beliefs or you will never have any friends.
You do not have that degree. This one is very strange. Many people on the Net have stated that they have degrees in this or that, Bachelors, Masters or Doctorate. How could one possibly determine with any degree of certitude whether someone actually has that degree or not? There is no way to tell. On what basis could you possibly determine that someone does not have the degree that they say they have? There is no way to figure that out one way or the other. Maybe they have it, and maybe they are lying and they don’t. However, I suspect that in most cases where people list degrees in CV style on the Net, they are telling the truth. Why lie and say you have a bunch of degrees you don’t have?
You get a welfare check every month. How would you know? How can you tell based on someone’s prose whether they are on government assistance? Someone enlighten me here. Not that there is anything wrong with being on government assistance. I don’t get one of those checks. Can someone tell me how I get one of these checks every month? I would love to get one. I have never read one single piece of prose on the Net and decided that this person is obviously on government assistance. How could you tell?
