Today I’ve received a couple hundred emails from people who are dreading the holiday tonight/tomorrow because their families treat them poorly because of their size – which is bullshit, obviously. For many people, this time of year is filled with happy memories and festivities. For many people, it’s very much not.
I came out in 1995 while in college at The University of Texas. One of the things that was very lucky for me was that there was a large and thriving (for that time) Queer community. To me, one of the most important things that we did every year was an open potluck on Thanksgiving and Christmas. After college I’ve hosted and attended many of these events.
They were attended by people for a lot of different reasons, some couldn’t go home because their parents has kicked them out for being queer or were otherwise dysfunctional, some couldn’t afford to go home, some found the holidays offensive for various reasons from racism to commercialism, some weren’t celebrating a holiday and just wanted to hang out with friends without any holiday pressure, or any other – or combination of – reasons.
People for whom “the holidays” aren’t so happy often don’t feel like they can talk about it, which makes it extra suck. So I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge that and let you know that this is a safe space, and to provide some resources:
Dealing with family and friends food police
Combating holiday weight shame
The Holiday Boundary Song
Dealing with people who can’t handle you setting boundaries
There is a discussion thread about this over on Shakesville.
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