Here we will look impressionistically at all of the cases that I can recall of female I have known who got raped in one way or another. I am using a pretty strict definition of rape here – forget the insane feminist daffynition. According to that daffynition, I have been raping females for most of my life!
Rape cases can be broken down into two categories: Hardcore Rape or Stranger Rape and what is otherwise known as Date Rape. There is some overlap, but Date Rape usually does not involve overt threats of violence and Stranger Rape almost always does. Stranger Rape frequently involves some sort of actual violence, and in Date Rape, true, hardcore violence is not common. However, some women are beaten and battered in the context of ongoing Date Rapes with a long-term boyfriend, and this complicates the definitions. It is not uncommon to see a bruised, battered woman who is getting raped on a regular basis.
Stranger Rape is much more likely to be prosecuted, and Date Rape is notoriously hard to prosecute. Almost all rapes by boyfriends (especially long-term boyfriends) and husbands fall into the Date Rape category. Nevertheless, Date Rape is still rape, and females who get date-raped often suffer consequences afterwards.
All cases below involved White females from the US or UK. Ages ranged from 9-80, but most were aged 19-24. The male rapists were aged 14-40, with most around 19-24. Four were White, and two were Black.
Case 1 – Stranger Rape: A White female I know well was raped at age 9 by a child molester-rapist. Her 9 year old friend was also raped. They were walking home from the beach in a wide open area of large fields and few homes or people around when a White man in a ski mask (aged ~30?) with a knife accosted them. He fondled them and then ran away to a truck where he drove away. He was never caught. The 9 year old friend blamed the woman I know for it happening to both of them, and their friendship ended after that.
Long term consequences are not known, but she has suffered from Depression for most of her life. The crime is a very sensitive topic, and no one has been able to bring it up to her for a long time. The relationship of the rape to her later mental issues is unclear.
Case 2- Stranger Rape: A White female friend of the family (aged ~80?), who may actually have been a relative of some sort, was raped in Los Angeles. The woman was a schoolteacher in Los Angeles who never married and lived alone. When she was an old lady, a very young Black male, apparently a teenage boy (age 14-16?), broke in and raped her in a brutal crime. At the time I was astonished that such a young boy would rape an old lady.
Case 3 – Date Rape: A White female friend (age 19-20?) was in Jamaica vacationing with a friend. They met some local Black Jamaican guys their age (19-20?) and hit it off with them. One of the Jamaicans offered to row them out to a nearby island where they could do whatever. He got her out to the island and then said that if she ever wanted to get off that island that night, she had to have sex with him. She didn’t want to be stuck on the island that night, so she gave in and had sex with him. I consider this a case of definite rape, though no prosecutor would ever prosecute it. Long-term consequences are not known, but I think she is over it by now at any rate.
Case 4 – Date Rape: A young female friend (we are just friends) of mine aged 19 is a college student. On New Years Eve, she went to a party and got very drunk. She ended up in a bedroom with some White college guy about her age. The last thing she remembers is she was down on her knees sucking the guy’s cock. After that, she blacked out and apparently passed out. Next thing she remembered, she was waking up and the guy was on top of her fucking her. She yelled at him to get off her, and threw him off her body.
As she was passed out, her vagina did not lubricate (she did not get wet) and he basically “fucked her dry.” The next day she had some minor vaginal bleeding from getting dry fucked. She was depressed about this incident because though she had had anal and oral sex before, she was technically a virgin as far as vaginal sex was concerned, and this is how she lost her virginity, technically getting date raped by some jerk. She had wanted to lose her technical virginity in an important way with someone she cared about. She talked to her friends afterwards, and they all said, “Guess what? You just got raped.” A lot of them also called her an idiot for getting into that situation.
For the next three months, she was unaccountably very angry, and she had no idea of why. It’s a good guess that the mysterious anger may have been caused by being raped. She also said she was tired of being called an idiot for letting this incident happen to her. I do feel that this is rape, but no DA would ever prosecute it.
Case 5 – Date Rape: A woman got involved in a long-term relationship with a White male aged ~40 that turned into some sort of abused or battered woman scenario. The man was quite abusive, had a horrible temper and ranted and raved a lot. He also demanded sex whenever he wanted it. She was often not in a mood for sex, and he simply violently forced it on her anyway despite her strenuous protests. She referred to it as “terror sex.” She may have given in due to fear of him, but it is hard to say. His behavior was complicated by heavy drug and alcohol abuse. Being in this relationship precipitated a period of heavy drinking and hashish use on her part.
She got out of the relationship, but even now, she does not like to talk about it. Long-term effects were unknown, but there was a suicide attempt afterwards and she suffers from debilitating depression. The suicide attempt was related to the depression. I was unable to determine what might have caused the depression, so long term effects of this date raping business were not known.
Case 6 – Date Rape?: A woman was with her young White boyfriend, aged ~25, in hotel room. At some point while they were having sex, he took his cock and simply shoved it into her ass, very hard, and started pounding away. So he started having anal sex with her by penetrating her rapidly and violently without any lubrication. This can not only be very painful for the woman but it can also cause anal injury. At some point, she got him out of her ass.
She looked around for a way to retaliate. There was a champagne bottle on the table next to the bed, drained, as they had finished it off earlier. She took the champagne bottle and shoved it neck end right up his ass! It went all the way in, penetrated to a few inches at least. Wow! You go, girl. Then the relationship was over. She refers to this as rape but I am not ever sure if it is.
In the course of normal sex, a lot of folks aggressively try to different positions and moves on their partner without asking the other’s position. They simply do it without being asked. However, I think this guy’s behavior was most ungentlemanly at the least, and I’ve certainly never done such a thing. No DA would prosecute on this, and most law enforcement (LE) folks would even say that no rape had occurred. Nevertheless, the woman said that getting penetrated that way had been extremely painful, and it was not an experience she wished to repeat.
Looking around at popular news stories such as the Steubenville rape case and others in the news lately, we can see that the vast majority of rape cases fall into the Date Rape category. This stuff degenerates into a “He said, she said,” sort of thing, and LE will ask the woman, “Why didn’t you leave? Why did you stay in the relationship? Why did you get so wasted? If you didn’t want to have sex with him, why were you on your knees sucking his cock?” and other questions along those lines. Cases are not commonly reported and even when they are, DA’s usually choose not to file.
The Steubenville case was special because she was passed out cold, and it caught on videotape. Having sex with a passed out female is not only creepy and somewhat necrophilic, but it is also one of the most serious kinds of Date Rape. Cases are much more likely to be filed when the woman is passed out cold.
The fact that most rapes are Date Rapes means that there is not much we can do to stop rape in the US other than educating men to behave in a gentlemanly way and educating females about the slimy ways of males. Date Rapes are hardly prosecuted now, and that’s probably for the best as it is almost impossible to prove. I think a lot of these guys could use a short sentence at least, but in these cases, it is nearly impossible to even prove that a rape occurred in the first place. In cases of dubious evidence of guilt, it is better than no prosecution at all occur. Obviously we can prosecute in cases where rapes are caught on videotape.
Date Rape should not be minimized despite its somewhat hazy nature. Evidence shows that some females indeed suffer long-term consequences from Date Rapes, including anger, depression and suicide attempts.
We are probably doing all we can to stop Stranger Rapes already and I don’t see how we can do more without turning into a surveillance society.
There are simply no easy answers to this painful societal problem!
