Nowadays I get redlighted constantly. In fact, I would say my whole damn life is one gigantic red light at this point.
The Wall
The most common form of redlighting is this thing I call The Wall. I get it all the time now, especially from women. It’s like they throw up this wall between me and them – like a see-through glass panel that you could even move through if you wanted to but you don’t want to because it’s a barrier.
I get it from young women a lot, almost constantly. They also turn quite serious, lose their sense of humor, refuse to laugh even at good jokes, and adopt a strictly businesslike attitude.
I also get conversational shut-downs all the time too, mostly from young women once again. I get a lot of one word or one sentence responses that make it seem like the conversation is over. That’s mostly part of the Wall, but if the conversational shut-downs start to get a cold or icy feel about them, you are dealing with what I call a Bad Wall.
Bad Walls
When she doesn’t even respond to a lot of your comments, that is a very Bad Wall, and it means she’s really giving you a serious message that she’s not interested in you, and you need to figure this out. Once you start getting Bad Walls like refusals to even respond to comments, try to minimize your contact with her. She’s sending you a message. Continuing contact with her in the form of even significant conversations will just result in more Bad Walls and icy behavior. In fact, the Bad Walls may get worse and she start acting annoyed or angry.
Different Types of Walls
Getting redlighted and getting the Wall other than the Bad Wall is not hostile, but it’s not friendly at all. There’s something cold about it, but it’s not really icy. Icy Wall responses from women are nasty beasts indeed. Of course I get them sometimes, but they are not much fun. They have a very bad feel about them. They are hostile. It’s hard to tell the difference between a Cold Wall and a Rock Wall. It’s usually more or a Rock Wall, like a solid slab of sheer rock. What it means is that they don’t want anything to do with you sexually or romantically, and this is designed to make sure you know that, so you don’t get any ideas.
I’m not mad at them for doing this to me, but it’s pretty discouraging and it’s downright depressing. It’s also one of the worst confidence killers I have ever encountered. It’s like you are balloon and this walls and needles that puncture the balloon and deflate it.
