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Please Don't Cher This ...

Posted on the 05 April 2014 by Tlb Music Blog @TLB_Blog
Cher Lloyd has begun her comeback, and unfortunately, it's just as bad as we could have ever imagined. Her latest drop, called Dirty Love, reminds us of a few names that are well and truly gone from the industry, or are the laughing stocks of yesteryear. There's a list of bits and pieces that make this, overall, an abomination.
Please Don't Cher This ...We'll start with the comparisons. The very first name that came to our minds whilst listening was Aqua. Aqua were, for anyone too young to know, the group who gave us the classic that is Barbie Girl - other hits didn't fair so well and, we reckon if they genuinely gave the music industry a hit this is the sort of drivel they'd have come out with.
Furthermore JoJo came to mind. Now, JoJo actually had a pretty good run in her hay-day, but her most recent criticisms of the industry and shambles of singles meant that she was as big a brat as the reports had been saying, and that she'd fit right in with the brat of the year - Cher Lloyd.
We'll move next onto why some of these comparisons reared their ugly heads. You'll notice that Cher uses a heavy American accent in lots of places - this is not of issue, many acts do this all over the world as it is more handy when singing, it makes things sound a little softer and nicer ... the issue we have is when she goes full whack back into her English accent and tramples all over herself. It happens numerous times throughout and really does not work nicely on the ears.
Next up, Cher's "sophistication". There have been dozens of reports of how this girl has grown into a woman, yet, the first sign of music she announces is as if its from a 12 year old's CD collection. This is filled to the brim with that Bubblegum-pop crap that has become so very famous (infamous), and the subject matter, as you'll be able to decipher from the title, is none other that school playground conversation.
There's not really much more to it. The singing isn't great; the song's subject is childish, the imagery alongside is in tatters; and even the music cannot save this young wally in the industry. Good luck to her, we're sure it'll hit some of the right buttons with some people, but we think it's absolutely dreadful.

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