Athletics Magazine

Please, Could We Not Do This Again?

By Brisdon @shutuprun

I’m going to tell you something and I don’t want to.

You may have noticed I’ve been quiet about last Friday’s long run. That’s because I’ve been too busy cussing and punching people to let you know what is going on.  I had 16 miles scheduled. I made it 13.


To add insult to injury, my hair has developed a cowlick giving me a middle part.

I took my own advice and did not run through pain. Well, that’s a lie. I ran until the pain became constant and I knew running more might do me in. So at mile 13, with so much more energy and desire to run, I stopped in my tracks and called for the dreaded pussy pick up. Good thing Ken was home recovering from his surgery on the couch so he could come and get me. Hope he didn’t pop a stitch.

While the pain isn't always there, it haunts me. It is elusive and inconsistent, which is why it is such a bitch. Haven’t you known a bitch like that? “I’m here, pay attention to me! Now I’m gone, forget you ever saw me!

On the better days, I think it’s not so bad and I’m working through it. On days like Friday, I fear I’m in trouble again. Let’s be honest – since my hip stress fracture my body’s been compromised. My hip has healed, but there has been a slew of other left side bullshit.

I don’t know what it means, but I know I’m headed to the doc tomorrow afternoon. I have done nothing since Friday. No running, biking, skipping. I was avoiding an MRI, but now I think I need one. I am fearing the worst, yet trying to think the best. I’m not sure how I’ll cope with being sidelined once again, especially going into race season. But, I will.

The pain runs along my ham-ass crease and sometimes radiates to my groin (yes, I said groin. Would you rather I say pee-pee area?). My best hope is that it is soft tissue and not the bone causing my pain. But, it feels like bone (TWSS, could not resist even in the midst of my doldrums and self pity).

Yes, I am white, thin, female and in my forties. This puts me in the high risk group for stress fractures. I wish I was a stocky, young, ethnic-type man. But then I would be too sexy for myself and not have time to run because I would be splashing cologne on myself and doing booty calls.

I’ll keep you posted. I see the sport’s med doc tomorrow afternoon. Until then I am pretending to stay positive and have perspective by saying things like:

  • It’s probably nothing! You probably just have a mosquito bite or gas!”
  • It’s only running! I am so much more than just a runner!” 
  • Your problems are so First World! Boo-hoo you can’t go run with your fancy watch and carb load with Dots candy! Get over yourself” 
  • I cannot wait to see what I learn from this! It is so fun to learn from adversity!

Oh, and I can’t forget my favorite, “This too shall pass.” I only usually use that one when talking about kidney stones or constipation.

Wish me luck with the sport’s doc man. I hope he smells like cologne.


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