Outside

A few months agoI saw a photo on FacebookIt was of an old womanWith a quote beside itI can't remember the quote exactlyBut the essence of her message has stayed with me ever since And that message wasIf you just go outside wonderful things can You never know who you might meetWhat might happen If you just step outside your front door The possibilities are endless
For a long timeI used to get up before dawnAt 6amSometimes 5amTo get everything done earlyTo walk my dogs Do my shopping Which was usually binge foodAnd when I saw I did my shopping I mean that I stole my shopping It's hard to imagine being in thdt place now I can't fathom stealing anything now But back then I was in a dark placeSo yesI got up early To avoid people To avoid having to talk to Anyone To avoid life 
Back then I usually arrived home before 9amAnd depending on the dayI would either spend the day drinkingOr abusing prescription drugsOr bingeing and purging It was a relentless attack on my self I stayed in my living room all dayWatching TVZoning in and out of consciousness Sleeping my life away 
Today My life is differentNow I don't make myself get up so early I get up at about 8amI do t go crazy trying to get everything doneI take my time Walk the dogs Do my bits and pieces Go in to town Meet a friend Live my life
Today is a great example of how going outside is good for the soulHoney has a sore paw, poor loveSo myself and Lea headed out in the carWe parked in the village And walked down to the wooded area beside the woodsThere we met a woman with a beautiful little shitzu We spoke for a few minutes About our dogs Until Lea barked and wanted to goHaving a dog is a great way to meet people I find I love talking about my dogsAnd I love talking to people about their dogs Yesterday I was down at the lakeAnd when I got back to my carSomeone had left a packet of dog treats under the wiper of my carHow nice was that!
After our walk I decided to go for a swimI've recently started going back swimmingI stopped going when the weather got really bad last yearAnd once you stop going It's hard to go backBut with my sisters helpI started back last weekAnd am thoroughly enjoying it again While in the poolI met a woman who I used to meet last yearWe had a lovely chat About anything and everythingAfter 100 lengths I left the pool feeling greatSqueaky cleanLike I had done a really good work out I came home Had my breakfast And felt like I really earned it
This is just a small example Of how if you go outside Wonderful things can happenOften times The biggest battle I have Is getting off the couchAnd out the front door But once I am out I am always glad I made the effort Whether it's going for a walk Or going to a meeting Or meeting a friend It's always worth it I know it can be tempting To stay in doors Especially during these cold months But if you go outside Even just in to town Or the local shopYou never know what might happen Or who you might meet It's the same with writing this blogBecause I put myself out there In a very public wayAmazing things have happened since I started writing this blog The best of all being that I have made the best of friends 
I have a feeling at the momentThat good things are on the wayGot so longI had this horrible sense of impending doomI felt like something awful was going to happenAnd it often didBut for me and my familyThings are beginning to turn around As you know My family has had more than its fair share of trouble and stressI grew up in an unhappy home With a horrible atmosphere And addiction I lost my way for a long time And at one point Four out of six of my family were in active addictionI can not describe to you how miserable those years wereBut now The four of us are in recovery And I can't remember a time when things were betterMy family are closer than everEven though my parents are separated We still all meet up regularly And my Dad often stays here When my Mum was workingMy parents used to swap houses during the weekA strange concept I knowBut it worked for them
I am so grateful that my family is now on the mend And in a good place God knows we have been through the wars Now we get onWe laugh We meet up regularly We support each other And love each other through the ups and downs of life As my Mum often says Given what we have been through We are not doing too badly 
AgainI feel grateful today For my life My family My dogs My friends I feel so blessed to have been through addiction and mental illness And made it out the other side relatively unscathed I get on with every member of my family And have never been so close to themEven though I live with my MumIt feels more like I share a house with her Rather than like living with a parent I love living with my MumWe get on so wellAnd enjoy each other's companyThen there is Honey and LeaThe light of my life They bring so much life and energy and fun to our house They are getting older now They are both tenBut they are still as lively as ever And I love them to the stars and back
So today I urge you to go outside If you are struggling If your mental or physical health is not great If you are battling mental illness or addictionIf you feel depressedAnxious Or even suicidal If you are afraid Afraid of others Of life Of yourself If you feel trapped Like there is no way out Like you are struggling Drowning Falling apartBreaking in to pieces If you don't like yourself Hate yourself in fact If you just want to hide away in your house If life has beaten you down And you feel like you want to give upPlease Go outside For for a walk Talk to a strangerSmile at someone Acknowledge someone You never know what might happenWho you might end up speaking toWonderful things can happen If you just make the effort to get out there Out in the world With others You never know what might happen
Do itDo it today It will be worth itI promise you.....