New Day

It's a new dayAnd I am determined to snap out of this funky mood I am inI hate Sunday'sI always haveIt was always the day before going back to school or workAnd as anyone who suffers from anxiety will know The anticipation of the event is always far worse than the event itselfBut there are other things on my mind that I don't really want to write aboutBut I will mentionThe Boy The less said about him the betterAnd my weight DittoSo let's move right along
Something I have noticed recentlyIs that our little community here seems to be getting smaller and smallerI look through my blog rollAnd see that so many bloggers have disappearedVanished off the face of the blogosphereAnd I can't remember the last time I followed a new blogI'm wondering why this isIs blogger old news?Did these missing bloggers get well and tell their demons to f**k right off?I truly hope soMaybe they out grew bloggerMaybe they recovered and don't need this community any moreMaybe their lives are so full and rich that they don't have time to blog any moreOr maybe they are so sick they can't writeMaybe they are in treatment or hospitalMaybe they died
I think back to when I first started blogging almost three years agoAnd blogger was a hive of activityAnd it was so exciting to be part of itBut nowIt just seems so quietDo you remember Rayya?Winter?Thinderella who I got very close to and then she dropped off the face of the earth I hope and pray that these girls are okWe are now a small and intimate communityAnd it makes me appreciate the ones who are left so much moreWe are a tight bunchAnd I love that
Yesterday was toughBut I got through it with the helpOf some beautiful bloggersWho are always there just when I need themIt was my sisters and my dads birthday this weekSo we all went out for dinner last nightTo a restaurant in the villageFor me Going out to dinner had always been a wasteI mean I don't want to pay for a meal that will inevitably end up in the toiletWe chose the early bird menuThree courses for €26Although it was more like 5 coursesFirst they brought out breadThen an amuse Bouche which  was delicious For starter I had vegetable soupIt was a nice small bowl But by the time I was finished I was full and wasn't particularly looking forward to the main courseBut I ploughed onAnd had steak for main courseAgain it was a small portion with some vegI got through it But was fit to burstSo I excused myself to the bathroomJoking that I was going for a smoke I was glad to see that the bathroom wasn't in cubiclesAnd was its own roomDo I didn't have to worry about anyone hearing meI gently tried the flush before I beganJust to make sure it was workingAnd it was I did the deedAnd felt incredibly guilty and dirtyI cleaned myself upAnd returned to the table
Despite my bad moodAnd despite my trip to the bathroomI enjoyed the meal outWe had a good chatAnd a good laughAnd all without a drop of alcoholIt wasn't always this wayFor a long time my family couldn't be in the same room togetherWithout tearing lumps out of each otherWe've come a long way We really have