It’s One Word Wednesday, and I haven’t quite let this word go, so join me, as I contemplate more on this word: selfless.
At the beginning of the year I chose a word to ponder over and commit to my conscious level of being and doing. And so, somehow this word dropped into my spirit, and I am on a roll, to find deeper meaning. I have been meditating and also reading on this scripture so fitting, it is as I reflect on the word: Jeremiah 18:4 ” But the vessel he was working on with the clay was ruined in the potter’s hand. So he remade it into another vessel that seemed appropriate to him…” and verse 6 says: “…can’t I deal with you like this potter?” declares the LORD. “Look, Israel, like clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand.” (ISV )
So I have been wondering for the past few days why I chose the word selfless as a word for the year. Or did I? It hardly makes sense; yet I am beginning to realize I possibly didn’t really choose it, anyway. I believe God did. Yet it was there, in my spirit. One of the most amazing things is: I found inside of the meaning of word selfless the word: efficacy - which means the power to bring about a desired result. Another definition of the word was : open-handed. I have to admit, I really was puzzled at first. Remain open-handed? Really, I thought? Is that how one brings about desired results? To remain in a state of continual receiving? I was speaking to a group pf people yesterday, and played out an example in front of the room about how I was trying to receive something they were trying to give me. I couldn’t receive it with a closed hand. I tried and tried, and became sort of flustered, irritated and disappointed in myself because I couldn’t grasp the good thing they were trying to give me. Over and over, I failed. Until I finally just gave up. I didn’t have the power to bring about a desired result. Maybe it was because I was not in a state of receiving, or my hands were not open. I really am not much of a selfish person anyway, I don’t tend to think I am a selfish person, So I wondered why God would give me this word to ponder over for the year.
Hmmm… maybe it’s a measure of growth, an instrument of information to keep me balanced. In fact, when I told my husband my word, he laughed and said : “ Interesting your word involved dutifulness, and mine involves one of pacing and slowing down.”His word for the year is balance.
I don’t know about you,but dutifulness was not in my vocabulary when I heard that word, but interesting how we make meaning of words. Selfless, to me – means I may have to DO more, but also probably BE MORE.
If you know me, or my husband, this is pretty interesting, because he is often dutiful and I am often the one creating balance for us and slowing the pace. Pacing is such a word that was so hard for me to find at one point in my life. I had to literally study and ask God for a strategy at one point in my life, because I often felt as if was lost, or missing out on something really important in my life. I will write about it more in my series of one words, so look for it in an upcoming post.
One of the things I am slowly recognizing as I daily attempt to remain conscious about this word ‘selfless’ recognizing that I have to place more effort and with greater intensity, I might add) where I never have, before. In situations I have never considered. For example, last week was very trying. I had to really challenge myself to reach out to others regarding an issue I that really bothered me. ( That’s often hard for a therapist to do.) Yes, it bothered me, but was I really conscious it was bothering me, or was I just tolerating it, because I didn’t want to share it with anyone? I found out I was really keeping to myself. Upon my sharing of the information, someone else was encouraged, by my choosing to open up and share. I have heard that secrets make you sick. I am beginning to see how true this saying can actually be. So as I continue on my selfless journey, I shall explore and find meaning and communicate through this blog how this journey reaches for my soul and how God molds me into a better person in 2013. I am grateful for the challenge of being the hands of the Potter.
(This is a repost.) Still working it out, though.
