"Yesterday was history; tomorrow is a mystery; today is gift, that is why it is called the present." These are the wise words of Master Oogway from Dreamworks Kung Fu Panda. At the time, these words carried very little weight to me because I was more impressed with the 'today is a gift, that is why it called the present' pun to fully understand the meaning of this phrase.
I become stressed out on a regular basis. Whether it be little things like forgetting something, or big things, like a test. I did not realize how much I have been stressing until I saw my face one morning. I was covered with acne, but not just any acne, acne that is formed under the skin. I have not had clear skin since the seventh grade, but the past year my skin has been getting better. My skin had broken out, all over, which is really strange because I keep a very tight skincare regimen. I get stressed all the time and get a few zits, but not like this.
I came to the conclusion why.....the future.
I am currently a senior in high school and I do not think I am ready to say goodbye. When I think about college and applying in the next few months makes me terrified. I never enjoyed growing up and becoming an adult. To be honest, I am totally okay with sitting at home and playing Pokemon all day. In the next couple of months, I will apply to schools like Miami of Ohio, OSU, American, Penn State, Case, Cincinnati, and the big one....NYU! For all I know, I will be rejected from all these colleges. Pretty scary when I think about it. Getting in is the first step, but then what about the financial aid. How will I pay? Will I need to sell my arm, my leg because I am willing. How will I leave my school? Say goodbye to all the friends I made and the teachers I met and leave all my underclassmen friends. Potentially never to see them ever again. Harsh, but reality.
My stress levels just skyrocketed talking about this. I am having quite a hard time coming to terms with this because I am pretty afraid and a lot of my life is run by fear.
However.....I need to fight it.
I really wanted to write this post to get all my feelings out and make a pledge to myself to never give up. I am going to go all out to have the greatest senior year possible! I will apply to all the colleges on my list and kill the application, I will do my best in all my classes, the ACT, and most importantly make amazing memories.
I am not the smartest, most competitive, or talented student. Maybe if I was wiser and made better choices, but all the memories I made I would not want to trade for better grades. I cherish Master Oogway's words and focus on the present because that is what really matters and be grateful for all the fortunes in my life, like all my wonderful readers:)
I will do my best! Here is to a better future and never giving up ^_^
Thanks for reading-XOXO
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