when i wrote my last blogpost on december 19, i had no idea that i wouldn't write one again for another two months, no idea at all.
a short break over christmas, followed by a visit by my laptop to the repair shop meant a few weeks off...and then, life happened....it just got in the way.
i like to think of myself as a pretty happy & resilient soul....but i didn't enjoy 2014 very much.
stuff kept happening....and very little of it happened in the way that I wanted it to happen.
life not necessarily going wrong, perhaps just a little awry, not sticking to the script that I was running through my head, the one that I had visualised & thought i had planned for.
in november 2013 we moved, into my in-laws old home, it was - and is - a renovation project, there is nothing that doesn't need doing.i knew it would be work but, of course, underestimated just how much work it would be.i also thought it would be fun.and i thought, having watched a million & one house & home tv shows, that I had great ideas all which would match our budget. hah! i will happily hold my hands up & admit that i know nothing!! i'm an idiot!!
everything takes longer than you think, decisions that should be simple aren't & everything costs money, almost always more than you have!
i also totally underestimated how all-consuming anything like this is.
we spent most of last year working on (ie, discussing & planning, not actually doing the work), the BIG projects....the loft conversion, the relocation of the bathroom, the kitchen extension.
by september, i returned from a month in france and began painting walls & furniture in an attempt to make our everyday life more bearable....to a large part, this was successful.
if i had to move in again, would i? probably not.it's a challenge to maintain a normal & stress-free family life whilst dealing with all of this....and i hold my hands up & admit that i have not done a very good job, at least not last year anyway.
and just in case you think we've moved into a 10 bedroom mansion, our house is a 3 bed Victorian terrace, not enormous by any means just in need of a lot of tlc & plenty of vision.
the walls & the original skirting boards aren't straight, the floorboards have gaps & many of them....nothing has been straightforward.i vowed that i'd never live in a new build house, but some days....
.and it comes with mice. mice. oh yes.or at least, one mouse. which i saw on at least 5 separate occasions.i am choosing to think that it was just one mouse & not 5 different .mice.my husband didn't believe me. not until he saw it with his own eyes. several houses in the street are having renovations done so it seems that the mouse population are on the move.hopefully we have now seen the back of them but not before i had many many sleepless nights. ugh!!
the house was & is to be my main focus, and it's had me tearing my hair out....in the meantime, the challenges and angst of having a teenage daughter has continued with its daily ups & downs, tears & hormones, questions without answers, highs & lows.
it's been a full on year & i definitely started this year with the intention of taking a different, possibly more hands off approach. to some extent, i've been successful - although my monday-morning-coffee-friends might disagree ;)
i think some progress has been made, i've had weeks when i've bombarded her schoolteachers with emails seeking answers, i've fought her corner when needed & i've been firm but fair.
i feel that a corner may have been turned. let's hope that i'm right.touch wood.
i began 2015 consciously thinking that i needed to address quite a few areas of my life, to adjust my settings, possibly to backtrack a little & take a new approach.
to a large extent, i have done that & will continue to do it....with family (close & extended) & in my daily life & routine,i needed some new habits & some new plans.
i felt as though i'd gone off track, got a bit unstuck, wasn't where i wanted to be....some sad things happened, life felt a little shaky.
and now, as we approach march, something in me feels different, more in control, happier & with a clearer vision.
happy 2015...yes, i think so.
