Life Coach Magazine

Marriage & S.E.X.

By Bren @Virtual_Bren

You know that fantabulous feeling when you’re first in a relationship? The physical attraction is there! You’re freaking excited because you are learning all about this new and interestingly sexy person! You’re dying to know what he or she has hidden underneath their clothing! You can’t wait to see him or her again! You’re just dying for that first kiss! You anticipate it to be a very passionate kiss that lasts forever and you feel it all way to your toes!

Marriage & S.E.X.

Oh yeah, to be in love again for the first time! I craved that new love feeling just like I craved that “new to me” car feeling. I used to love the hunt of searching for a new man. The chase was fantastic! Playing the lil cat and mouse games was exciting! Going out dancing and luring them out onto the dance floor with just a move of the hip, a motion of the hand, a wink of an eye! Oh my, I get all excited just talking about it!

But then you get married. And yes, all those warm, loving, exciting feels are there because now you OWN this person! They are yours to keep! You have made your claim and THEY ARE YOURS! The honeymoon is great! Not the actually honeymoon trip…..but the honeymoon and Mr. and Mrs. or Mr. and Mr. or Mrs. and Mrs., whatever you got going on there. It’s fabulous! Plus all the perks of benefits, double income (hopefully), not knowing if you’ll be sleeping alone or not, not having to play ALL those games you did during the chase.

And then the honeymoon starts to wear off. The sex that used to be so wonderful and daily, now has become wonderful yet every few days. Then the every few days becomes once a week; once a month; once a quarter and so on. I know you get my drift here. Play along with me.

You start to worry if your partner is still interested in you sexually. You get crabby. You start questioning your partner or are you one of those that just “withdraws”? I’m one who will question, that’s for damn sure. I like to know where I stand!

Your partner says “Nothing is wrong”; “I’m tired”; “It’s in your head”; “When was the last time you tried” (pointing the finger back at ya now); yada yada yada. Whatever it may be. And most of the time, these answers are probably legitimate and LIFE is actually happening on a real plane now. Your lives have meshed so and you are doing the daily day-to-day things. Yes, you’re still IN LOVE but the passion and/or lust may not be there because again, LIFE is happening.

This can be a breaking point in marriages. Distrust starts; roaming eyes start; a friendship with another person has begun and you may start to think of cheating………. OR ………….. if you’re like me, YOU MARRIED YOUR BEST FRIEND and it wasn’t all about S.E.X. in the first place! As a little girl, you fall in love with the fairy tales you see on tv. Passion, SEX, Passion, SEX….and if you watch the Soaps….. DIVORCE, sex with the neighbor, MARRIAGE, sex with the brother or sister, DIVORCE, and repeat over and over. :)

Unfortunately, this kind of stuff is just fairy tales and tv entertainment. Now I can only speak for my lil neck of the woods and teeny, tiny state, but this tv kind of relationship isn’t happening here.

As we mature and grow older, SEX isn’t always an option! We get tired sooner now. We work hard all day long, physically, emotionally, or both. You talk more about life instead of hot, steamy sex. Don’t get me wrong, SEX is GREAT but it isn’t a MARRIAGE. When you and your partner are 60, 70, or 80….sex may or may not happen. So what do you have then?

If you’re young and not married, remember these things. Take your time and make sure your partner is your best friend before you marry. Don’t marry for hot, steamy sex because that will fade. If you’re older, not married, or have been divorced and looking to marry again…………..head my post. You should know what it’s all about now.

Marry someone for the whole picture, not how big their schlong is and how good they are in bed. Marry your best friend because when the sex is gone…………you still have a lifelong companion. Someone to grow old with; someone to have wheelchair races with; and someone to have fart contests with whether at home or out in public. Think long term before jumping into marriage.

What about you? Are you married? If so, is your partner your best friend? Have you been divorced cause it didn’t work the first time, remarried and did it right this time? If your marriage became “sexless”, would you stay? Share your story with me. :)

Marriage & S.E.X.

On a person note, I did marry my best friend. My hubs knows when we are old and grey and body parts are not functional, we will have wheelchair races; fart contests; burping contests; sit outside Walmart in our car and laugh at other people. Yes, this is what we have to look forward to. :)

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