Fitness Magazine

Lose Weight by Running

By Killmenow @lbigfoot

Welcome to my site. You may want to check out my book, "Kill Me Now!". Thanks for visiting!

Want to Lose Weight?

Who doesn’t want to lose weight, people will tell me. I also have a few kilos or pounds that I want to lose and I have taken up running to help me. Note that I said help. I have a lovely young wife and I want to look good as well, so I took up running. My doctor told me that I should run 5km every day. My good buddy, Ed from my book, told me that I must call him when I reach London! That may be in a few weeks Ed!

Lose weight by running

Image taken from http://jayjester.blogspot.co.il/2009_07_01_archive.html

So I decided that I wanted to join some like-minded people and perhaps run with them. I can always be relied on to protect the rear. I saw a sign at the local gymnasium for a “running grope” in the park. Is the grope a prize or punishment? Do I run while groping or am I the one being grouped? Help, “Kill Me Now!”

I have to be honest and tell you that I prefer to run behind a young petite lady. This is for the same reason that according to “good manners”, yeah right, men always open the door for women to let them go first.

Some guys hold doors open for a woman so they can see her ass as she passes them by.

This reminded me of a joke about a heavy guy who wanted to lose weight:

A fat man goes to a weight-loss clinic and is offered three plans to lose weight, one for $100, one for $200, and a third for $500. The man chooses the $100 plan, has a shower, then is shown into a sauna. There, sitting naked on a chair, is a young woman with a sign over her head saying, ‘If you catch me you can have sex with me!’ The man needs no more encouragement and starts chasing the woman round the room. His time runs out before he catches her, but he’s delighted when he learns he’s lost ten pounds of fat. The next day the man returns and buys the $200 plan. Again he has a shower, and again he’s shown into the sauna. Here a gorgeous naked young woman in high heels is sitting under the sign saying, ‘If you catch me you can have sex with me!’ The fat man chases the woman round the room but even in her high heels she’s able to evade him until his time is up. The next day the man returns and decides on the $500 weight-loss plan. The man has his shower and is shown into the sauna but finds it’s empty. He hears a sound and looks round as a huge male gorilla is pushed into the room. Round the gorilla’s neck is a sign saying, ‘If I catch you, I get to have sex with you!’  Help, Kill Me Now!


You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Mitsubishi A6M3 Reisen (Zero)

    Mitsubishi A6M3 Reisen (Zero)

    @ Camarillo Municipal Airport, CA August 2017 A rare flyable Zero performs a flyby at the Wings Over Camarillo airshow.  This aircraft was recovered from New... Read more

    7 hours, 33 minutes ago by   Htam
    PHOTOGRAPHY, SOCIETY
  • 8 Ways To Instill A Sense Of Purpose In Your Startup

    Ways Instill Sense Purpose Your Startup

    Starting a new venture and thriving in today’s economy is hard, but the best have figured out that customers and employees need to feel that you have a sense... Read more

    8 hours, 3 minutes ago by   Martin Zwilling
    BUSINESS, CAREER
  • Karakoram Summer 2018: Summits on Broad Peak, Missing Climber Found by Drone

    Karakoram Summer 2018: Summits Broad Peak, Missing Climber Found Drone

    While the teams on K2 sit, wait, and watch the weather, things have been progressing in other parts of the Karakoram. In our last update from the end of last... Read more

    8 hours, 33 minutes ago by   Kungfujedi
    OUTDOORS
  • Nordstrom Anniversary Sale: A Second Look

    Nordstrom Anniversary Sale: Second Look

    When I wrote my Nordstrom Anniversary Sale picks post last Thursday I wrote it that day, early in the morning, and it seems during a time when the site was... Read more

    9 hours, 33 minutes ago by   Wardrobeoxygen
    FASHION, SELF EXPRESSION, SHOPPING
  • Salmon with Olive-pistachio Tapenade and Tomatoes

    A foolproof trio loaded with flavor: moist and flavorful salmon dressed up with a juicy olive and crunchy pistachio tapenade. This simple, but elegant, dish... Read more

    10 hours, 23 minutes ago by   Dietdoctor
    DIET & WEIGHT, HEALTH, HEALTHY LIVING, MEDICINE
  • Vintage Avon Lady Beauty Tips 1946

    Vintage Avon Lady Beauty Tips 1946

    Simple beauty advice for the 1940s woman – Vintage-Avon-beauty-Tips-1946—the-elbows Elbow Tips: Keep them from getting rough by massaging Night Cream over them... Read more

    10 hours, 44 minutes ago by   Glamourdaze
    FASHION, LIFESTYLE
  • Top 10 French Albums

    French Albums

    The FIFA World Cup has come to an end with France being crowned World Champions! To mark the occasions we have compiled the Top 10 French albums of all time.... Read more

    12 hours, 6 minutes ago by   Tomatrax
    ENTERTAINMENT, MUSIC