Co-dependence has gotten a bad rap from substance abuse recovery terminology. Most people are social beings, both emotionally and biologically who live in communities because they need company. We all need company as we cannot do everything alone. We need help. Collaboration is our biggest survival skill. We would die off without it. If one is alive, odds are that you have received or been given help in one way or another at some time or another. We have the idea that we are weak and if we are unable to do things independently and that it is a problem. But nobody, least of all successful people, don’t do every single thing alone and nor do top executives. Surgeons don’t operate alone and doctors have nurses to aid them. World leaders have helpers so independence is overrated. We need one another and should be there for each other. Do you know of anyone who does every single thing alone? I don’t, so, why do we hold ourselves to this standard? Maybe it’s a question of worth. A person might have a low sense of self-worth unless they do things alone. It might actually be a judgment against himself or herself.
Being Lonely
Now being lonely is totally different. Loneliness is upsetting. It can bring on a depression. Being lonely imeans that one feels isolated. It breeds negative self-identity, increases sadness and anxiety. When somebody feels lonely, that individual feels unloved. He/she remembers all the evidence pointing to this fact and for some reason their minds become empty of all the evidence against it. Loneliness makes a person think things like:- I ruin everybody’s life. I can’t call anyone because they will consider it an imposition. No one wants to hear from me. I make bad decisions. I don’t even know how to act in social situations. I am awkward. I have nothing to offer. The bottom line is; I am a dork.
