About five years ago, a girlfriend broke up with me. She dumped me hard and told me what a loser I was and how much better the new guy was. She rubbed it in really mean and hard, saying he was even better in bed, etc. In other words, she was trying to get murdered. Instead of murdering her like I should have, I just let her dump me so I could stay out of prison. Six weeks later, she starts calling me and saying, “Whoops wrong number sorry. Oh it’s you. Call me later honey.”
I’m like huh? So we start talking again and I asked her, “So where’s Mr. Wonderful who you replaced me with?” She says, “Oh he’s boring. He’s just a boring old man. Boring, boring, boring. He makes me fall asleep.”
“So I’m better?”
Well, you’re scary. You’re scary as Hell. But scary’s hot. Scary’s sexy.”
Live dangerously, get women.
