Debate Magazine

Life Lesson: Always Love Yourself First (By Natalia K.)

Posted on the 24 July 2011 by Danielleb
Life Lesson: Always Love Yourself First (By Natalia K.)This article was submitted by Natalia K., a Drama major with serious passions for "theatre, acting, films, feminism, food, traveling, and Starbucks." Check her out at This is Natalia!Whether we like it or not, we all have to go through a long list of  "firsts" in life: first kiss, first date, first "serious" relationship, first time you have sex, and the first serious breakup (which is never, ever, an easy thing to go through). But being a feminist definitely made it easier for me to make the dreaded and life-altering decision. 

I had my first serious boyfriend right at the end of high school when I was 18. I was young, naive, sheltered, and completely confused about what I wanted in life. He was an amazing first boyfriend though; he respected me, we were very compatible, and most importantly, he was always supportive of the changes I went through (the best boyfriend a feminist could ask for). 


As you can imagine, I went through major life changes when I started university. My relationship with theatre (my life-long passion and university major) drastically changed for the better, my feminist identity became much stronger (and louder!), and I simply just became an adult. However, somewhere in the past three years, I no longer felt a strong connection to my boyfriend. I knew I had to end the relationship because I was no longer madly in love with him and I had the desperate need to be on my own and live my life with my new identity. The last time I was single I was 18 and I was a completely different person back then. It's been a month since I broke up with him and it hasn't been easy. At times I feel guilty because he was a great guy and an amazing boyfriend, and somehow I feel that I'm causing him suffering that he does not deserve. This is a major reason why many women don't have the courage to end a relationship, because we feel that the person we share our life with does not deserve to be broken up with. As usual, women put someone else's happiness ahead of their own because that is simply the way we are conditioned. Although I really wish there was a way I could minimize his pain, I simply can't, and I cannot get back together with him for that reason either. I know too well that I am entitled to go out there and live my life. To meet new people and keep rediscovering myself in new ways because I am only 21. My friends have praised me for my choice because I found the courage to end the relationship. I know that many of my friends and women in general have trouble finding this courage. Well here's my advice: this is your life and you have to do what's best for you. It is sad when a relationship comes to an end but just be thankful that you got the privilege to spend a part of your life with that person. And most importantly, you may think you're doing that person a favor by staying with them, but you are actually harming them just as much as you're harming youself. Because everyone in life deserves to be loved and be happy.I'd like to end this post with a very wise quote from Sex and the City (I know this is kind of ironic because a lot of feminists dislike this show. I personally think that this quote is amazing)."I'm gonna say the one thing you aren't supposed to say. I love you . . . but I love me more." - Samantha Jones

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Authenticity

    Authenticity

    Raising four young children in a large farmhouse has it’s benefits and some downfalls. My downfall is that there are so many closets. Read more

    The 20 May 2018 by   Rachel Rachelhagg
    FAMILY, PARENTING
  • 7 Beauty Hacks That Every Girl Should Know

    If you think staying beautiful takes a lot of effort, then you need to read these beauty hacks and tricks. All it takes to look some simple Beauty Hacks and if... Read more

    The 20 May 2018 by   Tapang786
    LIFESTYLE
  • The Church Ain't The Kingdom

    Church Ain't Kingdom

    Previously: The Most Important Mission Of The Modern Mormon Church Among the many things we Mormons have been getting wrong about our own religion is this idea... Read more

    The 20 May 2018 by   Rockwaterman
    SOCIETY, SPIRITUALITY
  • Notes on Jake ~ 7 Months Old

    Notes Jake Months

    We've had Jake a little over a month now and I can't even remember what life was like without him. He has made himself such a part of our lives and belongs so... Read more

    The 20 May 2018 by   Hikingwithheather
    OUTDOORS, TREK
  • Why They're Furious About Bishop Michael Curry: Worldwide Platform to Proclaim...

    Stepped into the hallway of my Chicago hotel this morning for a moment during the #RoyalWedding and through the closed doors of every single room I could hear... Read more

    The 20 May 2018 by   William Lindsey
    LGBTQ, RELIGION, SOCIETY
  • The Wedding

    I listened to the Royal Wedding (Harry and Meghan, obviously) on the drive to Glasgow yesterday. Marvellous. The soporific opening belied what was to follow:... Read more

    The 20 May 2018 by   Nicholas Baines
    RELIGION, SOCIETY, SPIRITUALITY
  • Entrepreneurs Can Capitalize On The New Gig Economy

    Entrepreneurs Capitalize Economy

    The era of stable lifetime jobs for business professionals within a single company are gone. Companies are rightsized quickly now as markets change rapidly,... Read more

    The 20 May 2018 by   Martin Zwilling
    BUSINESS, CAREER