LGBTQ Magazine

‘Lesbian Bed Death’

Posted on the 19 October 2011 by Valeriem @Wont_Submit

What is this all about? Lesbian bed death? That sounds like a made-up term/diagnosis/accusation if I ever heard one.

For one thing, is it even a thing? It hasn’t happened to me so far, not even close. But if it did, does it really have anything to do with being a Lesbian? Because I know I have heard heterosexuals bleat on ad nauseam about their dwindling and/or non-existent sex life, all without anyone shaking their heads and saying what a pity it is to have yet another challenge reveal itself in the murky world of choosing an opposite-sex partner. No one secretly thinks, well yeah, it’s not like you were having real sex in the first place, so no wonder. Well, except me of course. And probably most of my readers.

But your average hetero Joe or Jane laughs and dismisses the agony of all this het unfulfillment with a brisk laugh while immediately, if a Lesbian has the identical complaint, reaching for the DSM IV or V or even VI for all I know, having largely stopped paying attention to such things. For them, it’s just the way things are, but if it happens to Lesbians it becomes an opportunity for hets to pathologize and stigmatize us, the way they always have.

Maybe some people just find that after the novelty of a new lover wears off, other daily stresses eventually grind down their lovemaking routine. I’m not saying this is good or bad, I’m just saying it’s ridiculous to think this is a Lesbian thing.

The next time some het person alludes to any sort of trouble or slow-down in the bedroom , I suggest you try and look as much as you can like this:

‘Lesbian Bed Death’

Whist simultaneously brandishing the DSM (of any incarnation) at them and talking about ‘Hetero Bed Death’, and see what reaction you get.

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