Teen Dating Violence: A Parent’s Worst Nightmare
Just before the holiday season, I attended the Fort Wayne YWCA's Annual Circle of Women Luncheon. Our local YWCA does great work in the area of domestic violence prevention. Every year features a different speaker who inspires a sold out crowd to give to the organization. Speakers are typically survivors of domestic violence and have powerful stories of perseverance and old fashion hutzpah that brought them to where they are today.
I went to the luncheon expecting just that, a few tears brought on by a speaker that inspired me to write a check. What I got was something entirely different thanks to a young woman named Johanna Orozco. Yes, Johanna is a survivor of domestic violence. Yes, she tells a story that leaves you shaking your head and fighting back the tears. Yes, her story made me get out my checkbook. But Johanna was different. Johanna was the survivor of teen dating violence. Yes, TEEN dating violence.
Johanna didn’t fit whatever stereotype you might expect of a teen in that mess. She was smart, attractive, popular, and outgoing with many friends. So how is it that this teenage love affair ended with him shooting her in the face with a sawed off shotgun? How is it that this young woman had to go through months and months of surgeries to survive? How is it that no one saw the signs that said he had been abusing her for months?
While the only person to blame in this situation is the young man with the gun, we do have to realize that those around her were not well educated on the signs of teen dating violence or it’s frequency. Did you know that 1 out of 3 teens experience dating violence? Think about the number of teens you know. Now think about one third of them being in abusive relationships. It’s hard to believe, I know. And yes, it happens in all schools and in all social economic groups. Did you know that boys also experience dating violence? This isn’t just about boys hitting girls. This epidemic of violence can go both ways. Did you know much of this violence leads to rape? Think about what that does to the rest of their lives and their abilities to become successful adults.
Personally, I had no idea the numbers were this high. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Mom or Momish, if you’re someone who doesn’t have children, or someone who has 12 knowing the signs is critically important for everyone. So I’m listing the early warning signs of teen dating violence below (as provided by the Northeast Indiana YWCA) in hopes that this will educate all of us and help us to help the young people in our lives before it’s too late.
The signs of teen domestic violence include:
· Your child’s partner is extremely jealous or possessive.· You notice unexplained marks or bruises. · Your child’s partner emails or texts excessively. · You notice that your son or daughter is depressed or anxious· Your son or daughter stops participating in extracurricular activities or other interests. · Your child stops spending time with friends and family. · Your child’s partner abuses other people or animals· Your child begins to dress differently.
If the teen in your life is demonstrating these behaviors, contact your local domestic violence shelter or YWCA. You can also go to www.ywca.org/nein for more information.
