Community Magazine

What It Means to Be "Just Your Father's Third Wife"

By Momishblog @momishblog

It means unconditional love regardless of the baggage your father and I may have brought to our relationship. (note: you have NEVER been & NEVER will be baggage in our eyes)
It means choosing to look beyond the raised eyebrows of friends as they cautioned us to protect our hearts before they knew what a wonderful family we would become. 
It means being patient when dealing with the pain past relationships can and have inflicted on all three of us. 
It means trusting that the love we have as a family can surpass any cruel words that include, "She's just your father's third wife." 
It means letting you and your dad into my heart even if it meant I might get hurt.  You were both worth every moment of the risk. 
It means sitting up all night when you didn't come home, pacing and worrying as if I'd lost a part of myself, even though you only have my heart not my DNA. 
It means counting the minutes until you get off that plane every summer and Thanksgiving holiday. 
It means having my heart broken every time you get on a plane to head back to your other home for the remainder of the year.  
It means being okay with having a broken heart because I'll always respect and love you and your choices. 
It means accepting the risk that as Momish instead of Mom you make a choice to love me instead of sharing a biological connection with me. 
It means laughter, lots and lots of laughter.
It means working to show you what healthy, strong productive intimate relationships look and feel like because your father and I want you to have every ounce of love in your relationship one day that we have in ours. 
It means wanting to be with you every moment that you're here but understanding that you're practically a grown man and you need your space. 
It means wanting to be with you every moment that you're here but understanding that your time with your dad is why you're really here & that's okay. 
It means feeling like I finally found the missing part of myself when you and your dad came into my life even though I had no idea anything was missing. 
It means cheering for you each and every step of your life, even if I'll always do it a row or two behind your mom and dad. 
It means never wanting you to feel guilty that I'm in a row or two behind your mom and dad. I chose this when I chose to have you both in my life. I knew exactly what I was getting into. 
It means getting frustrated with you when you let yourself down by making bad choices and still loving you anyway. 
It means being certain no other child on the planet is as perfect as you even if your dad says I'm giving you a big head. 
It means working to plan time together that you'll enjoy and want to return for no matter how old and uncool Dad and I become. 
It means experiencing the joy of embarrassing you in public with my AMAZING dance moves & big cheesy grin. 
It means being the person you turn to for certain types of advice.  You'll never know how honored I am that you confide in me.  
It means hoping one day that you'll love someone as much as Dad and I love you. 
Love. That's what it means. 

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