The Interview
Pleasant Lady: Hello, it’s just so nice to meet you A-
Me: I REALLY WANT THIS JOB
Pleasant Lady: …your resume…seemed so impressive
Me: I’m so sorry, I usually…I usually don’t drool in public like this. I just really REALLY WANT THIS AWESOME JOB
Pleasant Lady: Um okay…well, enthusiasm is always apprec-
Me: OH, OH, really?! Really, ’cause, ’cause I can be really, really enthusiastic about this job, do you want me to start a blog about it, I can start a blog about it and facebook pages and pamphlets and and and I’ll dress up like a freakin mascot and stand on the sidewalk and hand out PAMPHLETS
Pleasant Lady: Well, this job really isn’t-
Me: Oh yeah, I guess a mascot would be a little inappropriate, what if I stood outside with balloons tied to my armpits, holding a big sign that says THIS COMPANY, RIGHT HERE, KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING?!
Pleasant Disturbed Lady:… I am slightly frightened and am trying to tap the glass for help but am too pleasant to let you know
Me: MAKING JOKES AND LAUGHING AT THEM AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH RIGHT?! AM I RIGHT?! KNOW WHAT I”m….know what I’m saying?
Pleasant Lady: …
Me: …sooo you have a copy of my resume?
…..: We’ll be in touch
One Week Later….
Dear AG,
I am writing to inform you that the position has been filled by somebody who didn’t completely sabotage their interview.
Seriously, were you drunk?
It was very nice to meet you and I wish our paths never cross again, and that you get yourself some sedatives to make the very best of your summer.
Seriously, calm down.
Thanks so much for taking the time to meet with us.
Security has a photo.
Sincerely,
Yura N. Seine
