Athletics Magazine

It’s the Law

By Brisdon @shutuprun

This Murphy’s Law for Runners has been making rounds on the Internet. It’s kind of cute, but a little predictable (I do love the poop one though).



I’d like to add a few of my own:

  • At the final mile of your race you are presented with the mother off all conflicts: PR or stop to poop?
  • The one time you don’t wear your fuel belt in a race, the aid stations run out of water.
  • At mile 8 of a marathon you put your ear buds in only to realize you only synched your “mellow bath song” playlist.
  • You think you are hauling ass during a race only to realize you didn’t turn off the auto pause on your Garmin.
  • In your head you swear up and down it will only be gas, and are surprised once again by the almighty shart.
  • The race wasn’t clearly marked (or you are clueless) and you run an extra two miles.
  • You pee on yourself during a race because you are gunning for a PR. At the aid station, you grab for water to rinse it off, but get Gatorade by mistake. Sticky leg syndrome!
  • Your period is not due for five days. Yet, somehow it shows up on race morning, taunting you at the start line.
  • The first time you ask your girlfriend to come watch you finish a race, you chafe and you cross the finish line with two bleeding bright red bleeding nipples.
  • Your Garmin dies halfway into your race, even though you charged it all night. Turns out your kid unplugged it to charge their iPod. The iPod that they will now not see again for two years.
  • The porta potty you choose is out of toilet paper. Every.single.time.
  • Race shirts only come in two sizes – too large or too small.

Any of these every happen to you? Yes, all of them. Except maybe for the bleeding nipple one.

Got any to add?


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