Athletics Magazine

Is That Map Happy To See Me?

By Brisdon @shutuprun

My friend, Lisa, took a run around Boulder yesterday. She reported feeling “happy” when she finished. I just don’t understand why.


Today is MRI day. I had a panic attack last time I was in the tunnel. The only way I can avoid freaking out is by looking backwards out the end of the tunnel for 30 minutes. Something about seeing “outside” seems to help.


I just love how this makes my forehead look like a topography map. I think this may be the most unattractive picture ever taken of me.

To make things more fun, I could dress up a bit. Radiologists love that.


So, while I might find out what is wrong with my left side and fix it, my neck will be permanently disabled. My guess is that it is easier to run with a crippled neck than a bad leg, hip or pelvis. It is the sacrifice I must make.

I do have some Xanax I use for flying, but since I have to drive myself there and I rather not get a DUX (driving under Xanax), I will forgo.

I go to the doc tomorrow, so that’s when I’ll know my results.

What’s the last panic attack you’ve had? I don’t know if mine are full fledged attacks. I don’t think I’m dying. I just cry, my heart rate goes up and I feel like I have to run away. Hard to do in the tunnel or on an airplane.

Do you ever medicate for anxiety? Not really. Only when I fly or am having a really, really bad night.


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