First a couple of quick updates then we’ll get to today’s blog:
NAAFA has responded to the widespread concern about their most recent newsletter. I’ve added my e-mail exchange with Peggy Howell to the original post. There is still time to send them your thoughts.
The Biggest Loser petition is getting more attention and I was approached by the doctor who is in charge of the kids on the show to have a phone call later this week, I’ll keep you updated.
Now for today’s blog:
I received a comment today that I wanted to answer here. Though I have no idea the intention of the commenter, the comment itself could be extremely triggering – it includes concern trolling, and food policing, etc. I you want to avoid the triggering language (and nobody would blame you!), you can skip the block quote and items in italics and still understand the blog. Here is the original comment:
I agree that it seems that dieting (in a weight loss sense- but not in an eating to manage a health condition sense) serves no purpose in the newsletter. These would be better circulated via a group for the appropriate condition/situation involved of the individuals’ choosing.
I think there’s a problem with saying that its okay to eat whatever you like because you have, or should have, the freedom to choose.
Firstly, for some people, their food choices will cause weight loss for them. This could be because of health issues but it could be to move more easily or just because their previous eating pattern was so exaggerated. I sometimes feel that with HAES that this is seen as a less valid or taboo outcome and its okay to eat anything so long as it DOESN’T actively contribute to weight loss.Secondly, what about the extremes of those ‘feeder’ women who are eating with, or without, the encouragement of others to eat so much food, regardless of their nutritional needs, to weight gain at both alarming speed and to alarming weights where they are deliberately self harming and making themselves physically dependant upon others for emotional reasons. Does standing by and going ‘its your choice’ make us accepting or implicate us in not questioning a toxic lifestyle which could be averted?
Can it truly be said that everyone’s entitled to eat whatever they want to eat? Even if the outcome is harmful to themselves or others?
I’m playing devil’s advocate but at the moment the statement on choice seems a bit too broad. But maybe I’m wrong? I don’t know.
I’ll answer all the questions here but let me start with this:
Yes, it is absolutely, positively, definitely, without a doubt, is the Pope Catholic, really ok to eat whatever we want. Period. Ok, let’s dive in to the comment.
Firstly, for some people, their food choices will cause weight loss for them. This could be because of health issues but it could be to move more easily or just because their previous eating pattern was so exaggerated. I sometimes feel that with HAES that this is seen as a less valid or taboo outcome and its okay to eat anything so long as it DOESN’T actively contribute to weight loss.
I can’t speak for anyone but me, but my understanding of HAES is that I make choices based on my health goals and my personal situation and allow my body weight to settle where it will. So while people may gain weight, lose weight, or stay the same following changes in food choices, body size is not a focus or a goal. Also, weight loss is no guarantee of moving more easily – I would request that you take great care not to confuse body size with things like fitness, mobility etc. People of all sizes have various levels of fitness, mobilities etc. for lots of reasons, and that’s all ok.
Secondly, what about the extremes of those ‘feeder’ women who are eating with, or without, the encouragement of others to eat so much food, regardless of their nutritional needs, to weight gain at both alarming speed and to alarming weights where they are deliberately self harming and making themselves physically dependant upon others for emotional reasons. Does standing by and going ‘its your choice’ make us accepting or implicate us in not questioning a toxic lifestyle which could be averted?
It sounds like you are mixing up a bunch of different situations here. In general I would say that it’s not our job to police the personal behavior of consenting adults, and that in the circumstance where someone becomes dependent, that is between them and their caregiver unless one or both of them asks for assistance. I don’t generally think it’s for us to decide if someone’s lifestyle is “toxic”. (In specific you’ll have to make the decision whether you think it’s your place to intervene in any given situation.) I’m not venturing a guess as to this specific commenter’s intention but I think that this type of statement is often used to hide fat bigotry, since so often the person asking the question is only worried about fat people eating, as if people of all sizes don’t engage in behaviors that the person thinks are “unhealthy” or “toxic.” That’s not to say that people of all sizes don’t have to deal with concern trolls, they certainly do. I’m just pointing out that, as in the above comment, often the person isn’t concerned with us intervening in the lives of people who, for example, don’t get enough sleep. Their concern seems to be triggered by a specific body size and fed by stereotypes, myths and an over-exaggerated idea of their role in the lives of others.
Can it truly be said that everyone’s entitled to eat whatever they want to eat? Even if the outcome is harmful to themselves or others?
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, hell yes, fuck yes, damn skippy yes. What other people eat and whether or not it is “harmful” is not our business. People should have access to true, unbiased, non-politicized information about food, they should have access to the foods that they choose to eat. Then they get to make whatever choices they want within their personal situation. For many people their food choices are out of reach financially, but that’s a whole other blog. As far as “harming others” goes, unless a person is simultaneously eating a turkey leg and beating someone else with it, then the effect of their eating on others would be pretty difficult for us to judge even if it was our business – which I would argue is is not. The “they are costing me tax dollars” argument doesn’t hold up, and making determinations about someone’s situation is, as previous mentioned, a very difficult thing to do. I feel strongly that, since I don’t want someone else telling me what to eat and how to live, I should take a pass on telling other people what to eat and how to live.
My policy is to let people make their own decisions, and don’t cry for me well-meaning concern troll.
Our Biggest Loser campaign is picking up steam! Please consider signing the petition to keep kids off The Biggest Loser and re-posting it, remember this is a show whose contestants admit to dehydrating themselves to the point of urinating blood, participating in disordered eating, and admit that their trainers insist they ignore the advice of dieticians and doctors so that they can lose weight to win money. Are these seriously the role models we want for kids? The readers of this blog have accomplished a lot of things this year. Let’s keep pushing on this and see what we can get done.
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