Beatrix writes:
I’m convinced there’s a little Borderline in all men & women. There’s a little Narcissist too in both men & women. Self-preservation is instinctual in both sexes.
Self-preservation is a reaction to humans’ feelings of fear and insecurity. BPD & NPD are a set of maladaptive behaviors used as a means of self-preservation & emotional regulation.
2 types of BPD’s I have encountered – Those who blame other/external events for all their emotions/problems and usually seek to harm others, aka ‘high conflict’ individuals.
Those who blame themselves for all their emotions/problems (and darned near everyone else’s too) and usually seek to self harm.
If you look at the symptoms of BPD, it looks like normal femininity gone wild. Those are more classic feminine behaviors than classic masculine behaviors. Classic masculine behaviors will be more readily seen in sociopathy, Antisocial PD, and Narcissistic PD.
You realize there are 3 female borderlines for every 1 male borderline? Ever met a man who self-harms? I haven’t met one. Another clue that BPD is feminine behavior is that many male BPD’s are gay or bisexual. Histrionic PD is also 3-1 female to male, and once again, many HPD males are gay or bisexual. Histrionic PD is also classic feminine behavior gone wild.
What people call narcissism in women is really just normal female solipsism. Male NPD’s vastly outnumber females, although female narcissists do exist.
However, I have had men go down the list of BPD symptoms and insist to me that they must be BPD’s. It’s just because the list is talking about a lot of stuff that is pretty normal for human beings – fear of abandonment, emptiness, boredom, emotional dysregulation, black and white thinking, a lot of out of control anger, tantrums, emotional outbursts when thwarted, identity problems or uncertainty about self, goals, and interests (very common in young people of both sexes), impulsive, high time preference, disassociate symptoms, suicidality and even push-pull behaviors.
These men do not have BPD in any way, shape or form. It’s just that when you look at the symptoms, a lot of humans seem to have at least some of these symptoms.
I have worked with a female diagnosed female borderlines. Generally I would say that by age 30 your average female borderline will have wracked up ~10 suicide attempts and a number of hospitalizations. If they are ~30, and have not even one suicide attempt yet, I question the diagnosis.
