Interview

A while agoI was contacted by a lady called Angela Who writes a blog called Fucking awesome bulimics I knowAngela found my blog through the Healthline compilationAnd contacted me to ask me if she could interview me for her siteWe were emailing back and forth She is in New Zealand And I am in IrelandSo we arranged to Skype todayHer evening And my morning at 8 30amI literally woke up at 8 26amSo I jumped out of bed And turned on my laptop My face wasn't washed My hair wasn't brushed But I had no time to do either So I just rubbed my tired eyesAnd hoped I didn't look too sleepy 
It was great speaking to Angela She is smart So funny Honest And so real We laughed a lot Which was great As I think it is so important to retain a sense of humour No matter how bad things get We talked about my childhoodHer childhoodWhen out EDs started and howFamily background Treatment The media Social media and the effect it has on us as eating disordered womenWe talked about therapy Mary Angela's therapistI couldn't believe it when I said goodbye and looked at the clock and saw it was 10 30amWe had been speaking for two whole hours!It didn't feel like that at all thoughI thoroughly enjoyed chatting to Angela We had a lot in commonAnd so much to talk about Angela recorded the conversation And will type it out And post it on her blogSo I will let you know when it is  published 
In other news There was great excitement here yesterday As we got the news that my brother has signed a two book deal with the publishing house Picador!The same people who publish Cormac Mc Carthy, Toni Morrison, Colm Toibin We are beyond happy for himHe has worked so hard And he deserves every bit of success he achieves These are exciting times for himHe already has one book ready to go called IthacaAnd now has to write another one It's really inspiring to see how far my brother has come He worked for years as an accountant And gave a reliable and comfortable  life up to follow his dream of being a writerIt just goes to show Hard work And bring a nice personDoes pay off 
There has been a lot of talk about writing books here on blogger recently I know Piggy is writing oneAnd also MirandaI guess it makes sense that a lot of us bloggers want to write books We write every day on our blogsIt's how we make sense of the worldI know I would love to turn this blog in to a book My family are always encouraging me  to try and get published I have done nothing about this thus farIf I were to write a bookIt would be my story My life My struggles And my recovery I don't know how to write anything elseAnd I have never written fiction before So I don't know if I could write fiction or not Starting to write my blog was never about the writing as such For me It was more about the contentThe message Of hope and faith and courage It has been about connecting with others Breaking down the stigma of mental illness Knowing that I wasn't alone And that others felt the same as meThere is a universal feeling of shame  that goes along with mental illnessAnd addiction With my writing I wanted to break down this barriers I wanted to encourage others to speak and to write about their struggles As well as their recovery One of the first things that Angela said to me this morning Was that she is not shockable I was so glad to hear this As people who have not experience anorexia or bulimia would never understand throwing up in to a plastic bag and hiding it in a wardrobe Or throwing food in to a binOnly to retrieve hours later 
But yesI would love to turn my blog in to a bookThere have been many well written memoirs of eating disorders Marya Hornbacher blazed the trail of such books My story is like millions of others But it is unique to me In that my experiences and the way I reacted is mine I really do feel like my story could others If there is one subject I know intimately It is eating disorders I can talk about Write about it As Angela said this morning We are professionals in our field 
One of the reasons I have not yet ventured in to writing a bookIs that I am not very technically minded I would almost rather hand write it than type itThat's how bad I am But for now I will keep writing my blog Keep reaching out to others Keep sharing my experience, strength and hope as they say in the meetings Amazing things have happened as a result of my blog Like speaking to Angela this morning We are two womenAt opposite ends of the earth With totally different lives Yet we were able to sit down and chat for two hours about our lives Our struggles Our triumphs Our highs Our lows Our experience of mental illness I would never have done this only for my blogI hope this interview will help others As just speaking to Angela this morning was food for my soul
Today is a good day I feel hopeful Positive Excited about the future Angela asked me where I would like to be at age 38 My answer was simpleI hope to still be in recovery To be independent Happy and healthy Now I reAlly believe that I might have a shot at these things I mean why not?Why not me?I am working hard to rebuild my life Aide that was shattered by addiction and disordered eating As well as depression and anxiety Today I try to be the best person I can beI try to do the right thing And make the right choicesIt's not easyBut then nothing worth having ever isI feel lucky and blessed To have come through what I've been through And still be standing Still fighting And still retaining a sense of humour It felt so good to speak to Angela today Two strong women sharing their stories Harrowing stories Of pain and suffering and anguish But also of success and courage and fIthAs women We owe it to each other To be each other's cheerleaders All too often We are jealous of each other And mean to each other It's down to us treat each other with dignity and respect We need to hold each other up And not pull each other down We are fucking awesome as Angela would say 
Today I am going to make it a good dayIt started off so well talking on SkypeAnd it has inspired me to do my best today To feed and nourish myself To take my meds correctly To spend time doing the things I love to doTo celebrate my brothers good newsAnd to be the best Ruby I can possibly beBecause I am worth it And you are too 
Have a lovely Saturday everyone Remember to be kind to yourself today Gentle with yourself Because you are precious You are unique SpecialOne of a kind You deserve to be happy And healthy We all do 
Take care today And see you in the next post....