Athletics Magazine

In the Sky and On the Ground

By Brisdon @shutuprun

We got back from Florida in this afternoon and it is far hotter here than it was there. Go figure.

I didn’t realize how much I needed a break from real life until I let my hair down and relaxed. I felt like I could have slept and eaten forever. And, sat by prickly plants that stab my eye.


Here some things I learned about myself/experienced this time around:

In the sky:

  • Flying sucks for me. I hate turbulence. Being crammed into a spot smaller than a porta potty for four hours makes me batty. And, doesn’t smell much better.
  • I love kids, but I want to strangle the one who sits behind me and kicks my seat.  Maybe my real issue is with the hands-off parents who let them kick my seat for four hours. These were the same parents who let their kid run barefoot along the luggage carousel. If my kids do it, it’s okay, however. Just kidding.
  • I dislike not being given the whole can of soda. And paying for checked bags. And food. 
  • I get unnerved when the air gets rough, and the flight attendants give you a lecture about what to do when/if you get airsick. I don’t get airsick but I have a major phobia about other people throwing up anywhere in my vicinity. The whole scenario stresses me out.
  • Beware of laying your head on your drink tray. The minute I put my head down, the woman in the seat in front of me farted. True story.
  • It sucks being in line for the bathroom on the plane and the person in front of you is in there for a very long time because you know what that means. Stink central.
  • I always kiss the plane before I get on. Always. And I haven’t crashed yet. Although I might have a bad case of Jet-Herpes.

On the ground:

  • One of the best things about traveling is running in a new spot. I got in three perfect runs. One of them was in the pouring rain and I loved every minute of it.
  • Sometimes it’s okay to pick a rental car based on the cool factor, and to not be practical. Sam is a cop-wanna-be and we he saw that one rental option was the Crown Vic, he about peed himself. It got the suckiest gas mileage and felt like you were driving a boat, but damn if I didn’t feel like I was on 21 Jump Street.


  • As I get older, I handle crowds with less grace. Universal Studios was a blast, but there were a lot of bodies slightly too close to mine.
  • It’s fun when you have so little to do you sit around waiting for the lizards to mate. Nice foreplay!


  • While on vacation it is permitted to eat and drink whatever you want, sleep as much as you want, watch as much TV as you want and wear your bathing suit all day.
  • Awkward family photos are better than no photos at all.


  • For some reason my kids argue far less while on vacation. Why is that? They actually acted like they liked each other. I swear the minute we walked in the door the bickering began.


  • Getting out of my home and town always makes me re-evaluate what I like and what I want to change about my life. Everything and nothing.

Pet peeves about flying? I know the airlines are struggling, but the flying experience has gone down hill SO much in the past 15 years or so. Little to no customer service (although Southwest does pretty well), you get nickel and dimed for every stinking thing, flights are always packed.

What’s something you learned about yourself/experienced last time you left home? Or do you ever leave home?


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