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In Conversation with a Drunk Doctor:

Posted on the 13 January 2012 by Medicalminds @Sarina_Med

 Thank you Dr. B for letting me take your interview. (He was drunk at this phase.)

Dr. B: Anything for you MISS  Sarina and your Blog Medical Mind.

How much did you drink? (Just to make sure that he can stay stable for the rest of the interview)

Dr. B : Not much, few shots of vodka  and few sips of tequila.

I must say you have a very good taste in alcohol. (Both of these drinks has maximum concentration of alcohol. )

Dr. B : It’s a gradual progression… MISS Sarina. It started from few beers in med school.

Do you call yourself as an alcoholic?

Dr. B :No, I would not (all alcoholics say this). I only drink after I finish my duties and I do everything at home and hidden from the world. But MISS Sarina, I am giving this interview just for your Blog Medical Mind.

Why do you drink alcohol on a regular basis?

 Dr. B : I do this because I suffer from a chronic pain which is immune to analgesics. I see so much suffering around me in the hospital. I hardly can do much for the poor people. For several months, I gave my monthly salary to help those people on a regular basis and after a point I realized that it was not enough. If 20 more doctors gave their annual salary to these poor people ,then, they can afforded the treatments.

Why did you stop giving your salary to the people?

 Dr. B :After a certain point, I started getting the typical depression symptoms. I could not focus on my job and I started to drift away. Then one day I met my med school buddy who visited my village. He brought a bottle of vodka. The rest of the story is pretty clear.

Don’t you get the hangover effect the next day?

 Dr. B :I do, but I try to overcome that with two mugs of coffee the next day. I am not that much punctual, the patients have to wait minimum two hours to get checked in the morning. But what can I say, I do this to decrease my suffering, I can’t see my patients suffer.  It’s a chain MISS Sarina. They abide by that.

Are you in a relationship?

Dr. B :Very much single and ready to mingle but the last girl just ditched me in a very unusual manner. She gave up our relationship just because I was posted in a remote village. I can’t believe that I dated her for 3 years! Love is Shit MISS Sarnia!  I will definitely marry someone some day. I am still young and some male doctors even get married in their 40′s.

Won’t you raise your voice against this injustice that is happening in you village? Don’t you want to ask the government to subside the treatment opportunities or provide other treatment options?

 Dr. B :MISS Sarnia, you are very much young. Are you in a relationship? (Not relevant to the question, he drifts from the question)… I tried to raise my VOICE, but the only thing that I am really good at is to raise a glass full of VODKA! Cheers!

(I like a section in the New Yorker called Shouts and Murmurs; I got inspired to write this from Mr.Ian  Frazier.)  

(Dr. B does not exist in real life and  any resemblance to anyone is purely coincidental)

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