I talked to my mom on the phone this afternoon. We were able to connect even though there’s a 3-hour time difference. I can hear in her voice how happy and encouraging she is trying to be, even though I’m sure I sound distracted and disinterested. I wasn’t, well, I was distracted because grocery shopping is the bane of my existence, but not disinterested. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say – there’s so much between us, so many miles, so many memories. It is with thanks to my mom that these life lessons from my mom are so ingrained into my very being.
Life Lessons from my Mom
Kindness doesn’t cost a dime but the return is a hundredfold.
I remember one Christmas so distinctly. We were living in a tiny single-wide trailer set off a back road with a long dirt driveway. I was in my early teens with two younger brothers. My mom worked all the time just to make ends meet as my parents were divorced. My dad was still serving in the Marines and stationed out of the country.
It was the week before Christmas that a family moved into a really nice doublewide just down the road from us. I remember being so jealous of their trailer and wondering why my mom insisted on inviting the family for a Christmas dinner. Plus, she asked people from her work who had no family nearby to join us as well! I still don’t know how we did it – I was so embarrassed by our ugly trailer and the little food we had, but miraculously, the food multiplied as every guest came through the door. I’ve never forgotten the kindness my mom extended to new neighbors and new friends. The loaves and fishes Bible story took on new meaning that Christmas.
Sometimes ice cream will heal the hurt, but not always.
My very first breakup in 7th grade – I was devastated. My mom loaded me and my 2 brothers up in what I affectionately called “the roach” and drove us 30 minutes into town to the local Dairy Queen. I’m not a big ice cream fan, never have been, but my mom bought me an Oreo Blizzard, wiped my tears with a scratchy tiny DQ napkin and promised me it would get better. And it did.
Life is not fair. Love anyways.
When the ice cream doesn’t work, knowing my mom has my back, no matter what, even when she can’t make the pain go away, well, that makes all the difference in the world. When we were growing up she often reiterated ‘kindness is free’ and expected us to take it to heart.
You are stronger than you think.
When I had my accident at 18 that changed our lives so completely, it was my mom that kept me alive, kept me fighting, urging me to keep going even when all I wanted to do was give up, the pain was too much, the damage too extensive. My mom was my rock. She is my rock. Even though so often I’m prickly and unlovable. She loves me anyways.
Sometimes walking away is far more courageous than staying.
It took growing up and having my own children to understand my mom’s choices, my parent’s divorce and the moves we made. How I wish I could take back so many things I said while growing up.
If you don’t know what to do, don’t do anything at all.
Probably the best lesson my mom ever taught me is to listen to the still small voice inside. If I’m confused about which way to turn, take the job or not, run away across country or not, say yes or not – always, she will listen and ask me what God is saying, what my gut is telling me – and if there’s no clear answer, well, that’s my answer. It means don’t make a decision yet.
This Mother’s Day I pray you are happy Mom. I pray you feel loved enough and that my prickly, opinionated, and subborn self shows you enough that you are loved, you are appreciated, and you are admired. Happy Mother’s Day Mom.
Photo Credit: Iger Ovsyannykov
