I wish My Mother were here. You know, this space called life, where you are trying to figure it out… and you don’t really know what you are doing, but you just know you must do your best. Because that’s what she would do.
She would do her best.
Just because that’s her nature. She would just talk to the sun, as it rises, because that’s what she did. She would arise early, and do what she needed to do because that was her nature. She would invest in her family, and mold it , until time gave her more. And she could understand what time would tell.
My mother had this tenacity, when I was nine, that showed me she was very strong. She lingered. sometimes on the edges of life, and she would hold on, with every ounce of life she could. she would make the sun shine, even when it seemed like it was not going to rise, on that day.
Because that was her nature. She could tell if it was going to be a cloudy day. She just could.
And she would help me through my day, by spirit. She would hang on to her day as if it were the hardest one ever, but I could hear her whisper her prayers…
Lord, save my children.
Save them.
And I could tell she was barely alive, but she held on.
I could tell she held on with every ounce of her love. Every ounce of her strength. Every ounce of what she needed to endure with even if it was all she had left. She would endure.
Because that was just her nature.
I knew one day, I would love like she did.
That I would come to a place in life where I would have to decide to live. And I would.
I would live , and thrive, because it would be my nature , too.
And that day came.
And I lived, I endured and I thrived.
Because Momma did.
And I knew it’s what she would do. And in every moment I thought I would give in, I prayed, and then I prayed deeper, and wider and even more than I ever had before.
And it was good. The day was made right.
She taught me the power of prayer, she did.
Momma.
But I still wish she was here. With me. To watch the sun go down. And to see it rest in me. The Son, that is.
I wish she were here, to embrace me as I endured, and I sought the Son, to see what He would do , in me. Because sometimes the Son is silent. And the rising Sun is always silent.
It is.
Always silent. So as my Momma rested in His Peace, His Love… and His Ingenuity.
And so with each rising run, and setting of the same, I endure. I love on myself, and I love God.
Cause’ Momma taught me how to love Him, through it all.
She did.
And life is bearable.
And I love her for that. for helping me to endure.
Selah.
