Politics Magazine

How to Raise America’s IQ

Posted on the 19 December 2018 by Calvinthedog

Not that the people who run this country care about collective IQ, or even individual IQ for that matter, as the US elite says that IQ and apparently also human intelligence don’t even exist.

The studies keep coming up with the wrong conclusions that don’t match the antiracist hypotheses. When the facts don’t match the antiracists’ hypotheses, that means that the facts are wrong, and I guess we have to keep redoing the studies until we can get the facts to line up with the obviously correct hypotheses.

Normally in science when the facts don’t match the hypotheses, that means that your hypothesis is wrong, and it’s back to the drawing board to find one that explains the facts better.

This applies for all scientific endeavors except those involving Identity Politics or IP. IP is a fact-free political movement designed to propagandize for certain disadvantaged groups.

IP uses science ass backwards. When the facts don’t line up with the IP hypotheses, this means that the facts are wrong. The facts aren’t even the facts! Holy fake news, Batman! If the facts aren’t the facts, then what the Hell are they? Alternative facts?  The latest postmodern fad out of academia?

Once you say the facts are no longer the facts, you are heading out into the territory of reactionaries and fascists everywhere, as evidenced by our current ultra-right quasi-fascist science-free Republican Party. So the Left, in order to help out the downtrodden subaltern, is employing the anti-science model of…the Republican Party! Way to go, guys.

Obviously, Identity Politics don’t science.

Anyway, back to IQ. Do you realize that recently during this era of mass immigration from the forlorn corners of the world to our decaying City on a Hill, our national IQ has declined from 100 to 98? Yep, the national IQ is down by 2 whole points. You could come up with lots of explanations for the stupidification of our people – Fox News, talk radio, reality TV, social media, duckfaces, women decorated like cannibals, that really strong pot that’s going around…but none of them quite explain the IQ fall.

It just so happens to coincide with mass immigration from the less fortunate and cognitively progressive parts of the globe, so, shitlord scientist that I am, I put it down to mass immigration because that theory’s guaranteed to make the maximum number of people hate me.

Besides, it best fits the facts. Remember when that was how we evaluated hypotheses, back in the backwards pre-IP era when we were blighted with this superstition called empiricism? Whew! I’m so glad we are beyond that now. All that sciency stuff was doing so much damage to those protected classes. So much triggering science! Science out of safe spaces now!

Anyway, I’m thinking of some ways to raise our collective IQ even  though our best and brightest don’t believe in it and don’t even believe in IQ itself for that matter. Yet I will soldier on if only as an exercise in shitlordery.

Our elites have decided that the best way to raise the national IQ is…to import millions of uneducated, 90 IQ peasants and unskilled workers from Mesoamerica! Holy brain-flash, Robin! I’m sure all those millions of 90 IQ folks won’t lower our 100-ish IQ or anything like that!

Whose brilliant idea was this again?

Triggered? Good. That’s why you come here. I’m a walking, talking trigger warning, out to trigger your snowflake asses!


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