Athletics Magazine

How Many Calories Does Sex Burn?

By Brisdon @shutuprun

Does anyone else have kids who take the ugliest pictures possible of you without you knowing, then text them to you?


I must be very comfortable with you all to share such a heinous picture of myself. It makes me cringe to think that this is what I look like every time I am glancing at my phone (505 times per day).

I did not run today, I went to spin class. I realize it is nice enough to ride outside now (and I did do that yesterday morning), but I LOVE this spin class because the teacher is 50+ years old, owns a travel adventure company and is so cool and hip and full of energy that I just like to see her every week. Maybe I just want to BE her. I bet she never looks like I do when she is checking her phone.

After spin, I went to the eye doctor for all of the eyes issues I’ve been having (itching, redness, constant look of smoking marijuana). Turns out I’m probably allergic to Heidi. Who could be allergic to this lump of love and hair?


Sam is trying to photo bomb the picture of Heidi doing her leg lifts above. He needs more experience to be a professional photo bomber like this person:

How Many Calories Does Sex Burn?

Speaking of allergies, I had them TERRIBLE as a kid. Mostly ragweed. My mom even had to give me injections at home. When I was tested, they found I was allergic to dogs and cats too. But, we always had dogs and cats anyway because we liked them and what’s a little sneezing? The eye doctor told me today that your body can actually adjust over time to the allergy. It’s almost as if you build up immunities. So, she said don’t get rid of the dog, which is good news because my family would probably rather have ME move out than Heidi.

I know I am all over the place today but here’s another subject - while I was at the doctor’s office, I saw this interesting snippet in Health Magazine about spin classes. It said something like people don’t lose weight doing really high intensity workouts like spin because they overestimate how many calories they burn and eat too much later in the day. I am not trying to lose weight, but thought that was kind of interesting. Below is a chart of the number of calories burned certain activities.


Who knew eating burned calories? Win-win! Although if you’re eating for an hour straight…well, that might be a problem. Why isn’t sex on there?

I think the trick is to remember that even if you were laying on the couch, you would be burning a certain number of calories – so you should subtract that amount from the amounts above (so if you burn 85 calories per an hour sitting on your butt and you burn 700 calories an hour running, the excess calories burned is 615 or something like that – I’m no nutritionist or Jillian Michaels).

Are you a calorie counter? No. I just try to stay active and not over do the junk food. Wine is perfectly fine.

Have any allergies to food, pets, etc? Ever had to get rid of a pet due to allergies? Not yet.


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