cheez121 writes:
I agree homosexuality should not be constantly promoted like it is today, but it should not be persecuted either. Just leave it alone. I am curious what you mean when you say homophobia is the default.
It is 100% normal for heterosexual males to be homophobic. It’s just the way they are.
One of the main rules of straight male culture is: No faggotry, dammit. There can be no homosexuality or even suggestion of such at any time. Even the slightest bit of homosexuality in straight male culture is like throwing a turd in a punchbowl – it ruins the whole thing.
Imagine that there are twenty straight men in a room. There are all sorts of rules that go along with that situation, but No faggotry is surely one of them. That’s just not allowed. If any man starts violating that rule in the room, he’s pretty much destroyed the whole gathering. It’s hard to say how the others would react. I’m not sure I’ve ever been in a situation like that.
Let me give you an example. I am friends with some of the local Yemeni Arabs at the store.
I am convinced that most straight men have a deep and abiding hatred of male homosexuality. Not male homosexuals necessarily, although that would probably be their first instinct. Nowadays most straight men would probably check that instinct and say, “Oh well, be nice to him, he can’t help it.”
Nevertheless, straight men are in general pretty leery around gay men, for good reason. Straight men and gay men are never going to be friends. I just can’t see it. I used to think it was some groovy idea, but boy was I in for a horrifically rude awakening. My life has shown me that straight men and gay men in general cannot be friends at all and need to keep at arms’ distance. It might be nice if it worked, but it just doesn’t. The main problem with friendships between gay men and straight men is gay men won’t stop trying to have sex with us.
The level or revulsion that your average straight man has for male homosexuality is very high. It’s a very strong reaction, an aggressive and almost violent sort of repulsion.
Male heterosexuality is about a lot of things, including masculinity.
In fact, I feel that one of the principal components of masculinity and male heterosexuality is aggressive denial and revulsion towards male homosexuality. Macho or hypermasculine behavior seems to be a way of saying, “I’m not gay, dammit!” The most macho or hypermasculine man of all is screaming, “Hell no, I’m not gay!” the loudest of all. Seeing as some level of homophobia seems to be the default in straight men, along with the extreme disgust, repulsion and contempt that most straight men have for male homosexuality, I don’t think that this sort of background homophobia is going away anytime soon.
What is changing though is that although homophobia is still the default, many straight men are incorporating a certain level of tolerance along with that background revulsion that they have towards male homosexual behavior. The attitude is, “We hate that activity, but you have to be kind.”
Hence a lot of the acceptance of male homosexuality among straight men is more tolerance than anything else. Most straight men nowadays are not about to beat up a gay man or even taunt or harass one. That is actually seen as uncool. If you did that, other straight men might grab you and say, “Hey leave him alone, ok?…Whatever, man…Let him live how he wants.” On the other hand, these same men stopping the man from harassing gay men probably have some pretty serious background homophobia themselves in the sense of revulsion and disgust for that behavior.
