I look around at the world and I do not recognize it. Not just my private little world, but the world as a whole. Things are not the same as they have been. I remember growing up having a tight-knit family unit. I remember going to work at my 9 -5 job, feeling like I was making a difference. I remember staying up late, just talking to friends or loved ones for hours, laughing and reminiscing. Those days are gone and to be honest, I am skeptical that those days will return.
My family, my direct and extended family, were the closest, tightest knit bunch you would ever come across. I am the 2nd oldest cousin out of 12 cousins, not counting half-cousins, steps-cousins and the alike. My Pop-pop and Grandmom had 5 children, and all 5 children and their families would come over for every single holiday to celebrate. There would be so much food, laughter, music and merriment at every single gathering. We would also go out to dinner and almost get kicked out because we were so loud with conversation and laughter! The laughter is now gone. Once my pop-pop passed, everything became unglued. I hardly see my extended family and I barely talk to family that are the closest relation to me. I guess things do not last.
Walking into my 9-5 job for the first time, was like walking into the first day of school. You get to find your seat, technically your office, you meet your classmates, aka your coworkers, and you have to listen to the teacher, which is your boss. I used to love working the 9-5 job, but that changed because the Recession changed the 9-5 job. If you work your butt off for 50 years at your 9-5 job, instead of receiving pension and retirement, you are now kicked out with only severance. Instead of coworkers helping you get acclimated to your surroundings and working with you to help the company succeed, they lie, steal, cheat and slander your name all in the hopes that they move up on the corporate ladder and you slide to the bottom. The 9-5 job used to be the safety net for employment. Now its a death trap.
The art of conversation and interaction is just a distant memory now. I can remember leaving my house 9 am, getting on my bike, and riding down to the park with my best friend just to swing on the swing set and get out of the house! I remember eating sunflower seeds on the play ground and talking and laughing with friends until the street lights came on and it was time to go home. I remember staying up late at night and talking on the phone for hours with my boyfriend. There wasn’t even anything important to talk about…we were just talking. It is now dust in the wind. We as people cannot keep conversations any more. We are always looking down at some sort of iPod, iPad or phone. We converse with each other through text, Facebook and Chat and we are better at that then we are actually having a real conversation! Would you tell someone ‘I Love You’ for the first time through a text? What happened to the personal attention you show to someone you care about?
I do not recognize the personal world or the world as a whole anymore. I look around and it just seems blank…grey…foggy. No laughter or fun with family anymore. No guarantee that the 9-5 job you worked at for decades won’t throw you out on your ass because you are yesterday’s news. Friends and conversations are few and far between. Maybe someday things will return to normal but for now…Home is Nowhere.
Dedicated to M. Frank Rummel (pictured above with my grandmother, Phyllis, who still graces our world with her spirit). When you left this world, Pop-Pop, you left with the light that held our family together. I miss you dearly.
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