Body, Mind, Spirit Magazine

Her Momma’s Tears…

By Jenrene

My fb post said today:” Is it possible to love where you are..even though you haven’t quite made it there, yet? l am so grateful to God for this day…Mothers Day and she hasnt even  arrived yet. There are days when I am about to burst forth w/ years of joy..and then …I do (Smile).And days I just sit and wonder abouthow much my life is going to change. Fear tries even at times to  enter my heart and tell me otherwise, but I manage to believe on… and still hope against hope. Sometimes I just feel so GOOD…Just makes me want to do so much MORE FOR GOD!!”
I postes on my page how joyful I was and them mentioned how ” no one really knows how much I am really feeling blessed. They can’t. It was 25 years of waiting. It’s impossible to know ll the years I waited and pained in trying to believe God.
I have shed so many tears. One of my friends, Alane– WHO has brwn in the trenches of despair with me–said to me after seeing a picture of my daughter…”she looks like her momma’s tears.” I have no idea where that came from..but I like totally received it.(Smile.)
On Mother’s Day and everyday we tend to forget about the moms who silently suffer as others  and give thanks about their children and their joy.
But I shall never forget.
Never forget the  despair, the hurt, the yearning…and now…Joy.
It’s my greatest feeling now. Very close to elation, but feels like an overwhelming sense of Peace, as well.
I wonder will she know…like I knew…when I first saw her, that she is mine;
I wonder…about her ten years prior and how much hurt needs to be absolved in her little spirit;
I wonder if she will be as happy to belong to us , as we to her. I have looked up the Word: years. I was surprised I tell you, to see the words rent and fissure. Fissure…I tell you relates back to a time in my life where I was broken before; yet nurtured through,my sordos loss


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