Life can be unkind at times. Sad but true. Situations can be unfair, people can be hurtful, things can turn out much differently than you’d hope they would. At times like this it is very hard not to get caught up in being a victim to it all. You know what I mean. Caught in that angry blaming place of “It’s so unfair! I can’t believe this happened to me!” Human for sure, normal response in the short term, but completely unhelpful in the long run.
What happens if you let yourself stay in that place of upset and anger? If you poke yourself with it over and over. Well…you stay upset and angry. So, what’s the alternative? Let go and forgive. How can you forgive when you’ve been unfairly wronged, you may ask. You remind yourself that forgiveness is not about who’s right or wrong, it’s about letting go of a hurt that will keep on hurting you unless you release it. It’s about choosing to harbor compassion in your heart rather than hate and anger. It’s not always easy, but I will argue that it is the right choice…and in that choice you are no longer a victim to the hurt and the upset.
Forgiveness comes a little bit easier when you recognize and accept that there are just some things in this world that are out of your control. No matter how hard you would like to make those things right or fair, you can’t. Forgiveness and compassion offers us an opportunity to heal and let go so we can move forward. Anger will just keep us mired in our upset. It will stunt our growth. It will stop us from moving ahead on our path, because it blocks our progress and drowns out our intuition. Forgiveness is not about righting wrongs and undoing the hurts of the past, it is about allowing ourselves to build a healthy, meaningful future.
So, when you are feeling hurt and angry by life and those in it:
- Take a breath
- Say a little prayer, if you need some divine assistance
- Find the compassion in your heart
- Ask yourself to release your hurt and upset
- Repeat the process as often as you need…
It may take some time and a lot of purposeful practice, but once you get to that place of forgiveness and compassion in your heart, you’ll be glad you’re there. Give it a try and see if it feels right to you?
Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer
