Humor Magazine

Guest Blog: Paige Kellerman

By Regectedriter @regectedriter

Rejection’s Not Just About Being Perfect
by Paige Kellerman

When AG asked me to do a guest post for him, I was over the moon. After writing “I’m a guest blogger” on my driveway, stenciling it on the dog and turning it into a magic marker barbed wire tattoo on my ankle, I ran back to the laptop and sent an email.

Dear AG,
That sounds cool or whatever. What would you like me to write about?

Dear Paige,
P.S Do you just comment and not read the blog?
My excitement turned to panic. “Rejection”..? Stopping the presses, I went to Urban Dictionary and tried to figure out what it meant. From what I could tell, it was negative word, implying I’d failed at something. I felt terrible. Poor AG picked the one person who’d never failed at anything in her whole life. For instance, when I was fifteen, all the boys loved me. At night, I’d record all the compliments I’d received that day, in my diary:
“Your sister’s really pretty. Would she go out with me?” “Could you move to the left so I can get a better look at the girl in front of you?” “Have you seen your hair, today?..The circus must be missing a bear.” “It’s a good thing God made you funny.”
Imagine all that in one day.
When I got to college, my professors had as much or more faith in me, writing praise-filled comments on my papers like, “What is this?”, “Maybe you should think about going into the food service industry..”, and “Did you read the book?”

My then-boyfriend was equally as encouraging when he left me at graduation with the parting words, “I think we should see other people. What’s your roommate doing later?”
By the time I got married and became a writer, I was riding the type of high a person can only get from enjoying a life-long history of never failing. I began blogging, submitting stories, and working on a book. The feedback I got from judges was always up-lifting; Usually along the lines of “We accepted everyone’s story except yours.” or “Did you edit this before you emailed it?”
Today, my confidence is lifted continually when I tell people I meet I’m a writer, and they respond with, “No really…what do you do? I’m looking for a maid.” So, it pained me to have to send another email to AG:
Dear AG,
   While I’m extremely flattered you’d like me to write for you, I can’t think of a time I’ve been rejected. I’ll get back to you when I think of something. Gotta run, the cake’s burning.


Paige spent most of her formative years reading anything besides her school books . Made to write five paragraph essays, by her mother, like it was her job, she garnered enough knowledge to paste a transcript together on a Word document and sneak into college. After a reluctant Dean handed her a degree in English, and she managed to escape the claws of insurance underwriting, Paige found someone who felt sorry enough to marry her. Together, they made a child, that turned out to be two children. Today, she spends her time writing funny stories, taking care of kids, mixing the perfect Gin and Tonic, and figuring out how to get people to stop calling her “that home schooled girl”. She blogs four times a week at and is hard at work on her first book of short stories.


Paige always makes me laugh and this entry was no exception, so I’d like to present her with the You Inspire Me blog award: 

Guest Blog: Paige Kellerman
Thanks so much for sharing your gift of laughter with everybody.

lenty of Fault

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