Because my life feels a bit out of control at the moment
And I generally don't feel like I am in charge of my own body right now
I decided to take back a little bit of control for myself
So I would feel like a willing participant in recovery
Instead of feeling like a hostage
So I decided to get rid of my scales
I thought of many ways to dispose of it
Smash it with a hammer
Throw it off a cliff
But because I live so near water I decided to throw in to the lake near me house
Technically this is littering but I'm sure Mother Nature will forgive me
The preparations started last night
No more weighing my worth in pounds and ounces!
One last weigh in!
Smuggling my scale down to the lake
Honey reads this sign and then ignores it
Will she, won't she.....
She will!
Splash!
Goodbye scale, hello life!
I felt a bit strange afterwardsA bit sad almost
Not sad to lose my scale
But sad to let go of the girl that I was
That sick girl
The girl who was anxious and depressed
Lonely
Afraid
The symbolic gesture of throwing the scale in to the lake made me realize that I am growing up
Moving on
Things are not perfect
Far from it
My ED still has a certain hold over me
But I am willing to let go of it bit by bit
I am willing to recover
I am willing to live
Goodbye scale, hello life!!!!
