Athletics Magazine

Get Your Ass Over the Pass

By Brisdon @shutuprun

Did I tell you I was doing the 200-mile Wild West Relay this weekend? We leave tomorrow. Being a Wild West theme, I am either dressing up as Jesse James (I love Sandra Bullock’s ex) or Mae West for the entire 30 or so hours.

Get Your Ass Over the Pass

I totally have the cleavage to pull off this outfit.

I figure all of that heavy clothing will give me even worse B.O. than I normally have. My whole goal is to annoy the hell out of my team mates. Yes, I am that person. Our team name is, “Here Kitty, Kitty.” We are so unafraid of mountain lions we actually taunt them around here.

This is only my second relay. My first was Hood to Coast in August 2009. In July 2009, I had no clue what a running relay was. I entered a won a contest (I wrote a cute poem and I’m not kidding), and got put on a super incredible speedy Puma-sponsored team where I completely and totally did not belong. I pride myself on the fact that I slowed the average pace of our team by at least 3 minutes per mile.


No matter what you say, I did not steal this picture.

I did not know one person on that team, except Ken who they agreed to take at the last minute because we needed more people. It was a great experience, but Ken and I kept saying how much more fun it would be to be on a team with people you knew and you could fart in front of. And also people who were more at your level of running – i.e, not training for the Olympic Trails or busting out 5 minute miles all the time.


The real reason I’m doing this relay is that their slogan is Wild West Relay: Get Your Ass Over the Pass. Anything with the word “Ass” in it is instantly appealing to me for some reason.

So, there are 12 of us – all friends. It’s a coed team. I love that we are all forty-something parents who like to run and drink beer (not always at the same time, but sometimes). I also love that we are all at the stage of life where losing one night’s sleep makes you so delirious, cranky and annoying that you can make fun of each other a lot. And, have so many good stories to tell. I’ve packed my bag with lots of Ben Gay, ibuprofen and Butt Shield. Also, a black Sharpie for marking up people’s faces while they sleep.

My legs aren’t too bad. I am runner #5 out of 12. That means tomorrow’s run will be very hot because I will start at about noon and it will be well into the 90s. My total mileage for the three legs is 18.7 miles with a total elevation gain of 1,499 feet.

The 200 mile race begins in Fort Collins, and finishes in Steamboat Springs. Apparently, we go through many national forests, small towns and ranching communities, and run in and out of Wyoming. I’m sure the scenery will be ugly. Like this picture take from last year’s race:

VTEM Banners

I thought about doing the whole relay by myself, but wouldn’t find someone to be my driver. I could SO knock out 200 miles in 24 hours if I really wanted to. Actually, there is a guy running solo this year and it’s not my friend, Dean.

Leg 1: 7.4 miles.  I’ll be running on mostly dirt county roads. Looks like a slow, mellow climb. At this point I will love life and relays and my friends.




Leg 2: 7.2 miles. I’ll run this in the middle of the night.  It is at 8,000 feet and I will be very cold and nipply. I will be freaked out by every rustle in the trees. I will not say, “Here Kitty, Kitty.”  I’ll be on dirt roads that take me across the state line into Wyoming. Must bring passport. I will be tired and irritable and annoyed with people. I will have pet many peeves.


Leg 3: 4.2 miles. I should be smelling very ripe by this time. My stomach should also be roiling from too many Twizzlers. I anticipate stomach cramping, passing of air and the possible need to blow up a porta potty. This run is through ranching country. Watch out cows- you think your cow pies are big?


Saturday night we’re staying in Steamboat Springs. We already have a reservation for 7pm for margaritas at the Rio Grande. Let’s hope we are actually done running by then.

Hopefully lots of pictures and stories to share on Monday!

Have you ever done a relay? Which one?

What’s your favorite and least favorite parts of a relay race? I love the camaraderie of the people and the adventure aspect. I do not like lack of sleep and how annoyed my body gets with being cramped in a car for 30 hours. I also don’t like the smell of other people’s BO and farts, but mine smell okay. I also love that you never know what you’re going to see:


This is at H2K in 2009. My friend Lisa with Kilt Man.

If you haven’t done a relay, would you consider it?


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