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Film Review: The Human Centipede [First Sequence]

By Donnambr @_mrs_b

About The Human Centipede (2009)Human CentipedeTwo pretty American girls on a road trip across Europe end up alone in the woods at night when their car breaks down in rural Germany. As they search for help they find an isolated house. Offering to call them a taxi, the house’s owner Dr. Heiter, a retired surgeon, invites the girls inside with the promise of a drink and dry place to wait until help arrives. However they realize that there is something not quite right about the formidable Dr. Heiter… As their demented host explains his twisted vision, the two girls discover that they are soon to become a lot closer to each other than they ever wanted to be. Heiter s plan is to connect the two girls to each other with a third person, a hapless Japanese tourist, via their gastric systems in a daring bid to be the first person to create a Siamese triplet -bringing to life his sick lifetime fantasy THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE!

 

Starring: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura

Directed by: Tom Six

Runtime: 92 minutes

Studio: IFC Films

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Review: The Human Centipede (The First Sequence) 

I love reviewing films as readers of my blog know and having committed to this venture there are no guarantees of quality. What I usually get is a rough idea of what I’m getting myself into. Well, the same couldn’t be said about Tom Six’s The Human Centipede (The First Sequence). Okay, from that title I had a basic idea of this being a horror film with some unpleasantness to at least two people but the reality was far worse than I ever could have imagined.

The film focuses on two American tourists Lindsay (Ashley C. Williams) and Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie) who are holidaying in Germany when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. The girls happen upon the isolated home of Dr Heiter (Dieter Laser) who is initially helpful but seizes the chance to drug Lindsay and Jenny. Rather than a helpful member of the community, Dr Heiter is a skilled but slightly unhinged surgeon who has a unique project in mind that will involve both Lindsay, Jenny and a Japanese tourist, Katsuro (Akihito Kitamura).

The films begins in typical fashion with our slightly clueless leads breaking down on a road flanked by woodland. One of the immediate issues is that the first people they meet in Germany following the breakdown are sinister. A passerby wants to help the girls initially but quickly resorts to some less than subtle remarks about what he’d like to do to them. Once this pervert has gone the girls find refuge in the home of a crazed surgeon. I realize there are some dangerous people out there but to bump into two in quick succession is just plain unlucky. I’ve been to Germany myself and would like to add they’re perfectly nice people, some of the best you could hope to meet. The girls become captives of Dr Heiter who wants to experiment with them and combine three people to form a human centipede. Now, you’ll be wondering how this process will work. Well, herein lies the heart of The Human Centipede. The theme of shitting becomes pretty central.

 

The opening reels of the film sees Dr Heiter take out a local driver with a tranquiliser gun. This unfortunate chap happens to be squatting in the bushes at the time but the shit theme doesn’t stop there. Dr Heiter soon realises this guy is surplus to requirements so kills him and brings in a Japanese tourist to be combined with Lindsay and Jenny. To create a human centipede involves our three tourists being on their hands and knees in just their underwear but to connect them is via mouth to anus! Yes, you heard me right the first time. Katsuro has the pleasure of being at the front, Jenny at the back, and as punishment for trying to escape, Lindsay is in the middle. Dr Heiter wants a digestive system connected across his three victims but by this point you will, of course, be wondering how this creation eats and indeed uses the toilet. Well, we are not spared the answers to this I’m sorry to say. Katsuro is fed by Dr Heiter and while the conjoined trio are being put through their paces in the garden, the unfortunate Katsuro suddenly needs the toilet. With the three tourists joined mouth to anus I shouldn’t need to tell you anymore about how this process works. As I say, this becomes the most shocking aspect of the film, just the idea of shitting, and I think it’s completely unnecessary.

 

The rest of The Human Centipede is pretty poor and standard horror. Dr Heiter previously joined three dogs together in an experiment but they died soon afterwards. He is determined than the human centipede will live but complications quickly arise. I certainly felt for the three actors spending the bulk of the film on their hands and knees, in their pants, no bras for the poor actresses either! There must be more fun ways to earn a living acting. By the end I was pleased it was all over. There are some bloody moments but the whole thing is plain ludicrous and not just from a medically scientific point of view. Some film fans have enjoyed this, others have hated it. I join my brothers and sisters in the latter camp I have to say. Yes, it’s got some shocking moments, but I’ve seen far worse horror in terms of gore but I found them as pointless as The Human Centipede. If you do decide to give this a try then don’t stick it on while you’re eating, you have been warned!

The Human Centipede has some shocking moments but once it’s played the mouth to anus surgery and themes of shitting there is nothing left to even try and redeem this. A sequel is due this year and it looks to be even more disturbing than this one. You wouldn’t think it was possible but sadly it’s true. As for The Human Centipede, I don’t wish to waste another breath on this horrifically bad film.

Verdict: 1/5

(Film source: reviewer’s own copy)

Film Review: The Human Centipede [First Sequence] | Thank you for reading Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dave

 


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