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Film Review: Teeth

Posted on the 24 April 2013 by Donnambr @_mrs_b
About Teeth (2007)TeethSurreal horror comedy from director Mitchell Lichtenstein. Jess Weixler stars as Dawn, a proud virgin who leads the local chapter of a chastity group which encourages younger children to save themselves for marriage. However, when Dawn is sexually assaulted by new group member, Tobey (Hale Appleman), she discovers to her surprise that her vagina has teeth. As she attempts to come to terms with her shocking discovery, Dawn soon begins to experience both the pitfalls and the power of her newfound anatomical anomaly.

Starring: Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Josh Pais, Hale Appleman, Lenny von Dohlen

Directed by: Mitchell Lichtenstein

Runtime: 94 minutes

Studio: Dimension Extreme

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Review: Teeth 

Mitchell Lichtenstein’s horror comedy is designed to have the men in the audience crossing their legs and grimacing. It tells the story of Dawn O’Keefe (Jess Weixler) who is part of a Christian group – The Promise – that preaches abstinence from sex. Through the group Dawn meets Tobey (Hale Appleman) who is ashamed to inform her he has previously sinned – just once – but he is determined not to again until he is married. Dawn and Tobe become closer but after going swimming in a remote lake, Tobey shows his true colours and proceeds to rape her. However, Dawn is armed with a very effective defence mechanism.

The origins of Dawn’s, let’s say gift, are unclear but we know she has it from a young age. When they were chidren, Dawn’s step brother, Brad, touched his step sister’s vagina only to recoil and find the end of his finger missing. Dawn’s gift is that she has teeth in her vagina and when she uses them to great effect on Tobey, she becomes a different person. Dawn turns her back on her abstinence and though initially terrified of the teeth and unsure how to control them, she soon learns the secret. With Tobey out of the picture, Dawn has the welcome attention of another boy at school, Ryan (Ashley Springer), and the unwelcome attention of her stepbrother Brad (Josh Hensley) who spends his days getting high and having sex with different girls though Dawn is the only one he truly desires!

While not an atrocious horror film, Teeth isn’t a great one either. Once you have overcome the idea of Dawn having teeth in a delicate place, this is pretty standard and uninspiring. That said, it’s amusing watching some of the guys get their comeuppance though did that gynaecologist really deserve that, Dawn?

Teeth is a bloody exploration of sexual awakening and one that gives power back to one young woman. There are some amusing moments watching Dawn take revenge against the likes of Tobey but the shock factor aside, there isn’t very much to the film which is average at best.

Verdict: 2/5

(Film source: reviewer’s own copy)

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