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Film Review: Swamp Zombies

Posted on the 22 August 2013 by Donnambr @_mrs_b
About Swamp Zombies (2005)Swamp ZombiesA chief physician at a large metropolitan hospital is formulating a serum to resurrect recently deceased patients. When his facility comes under inspection from the Federal Government, the good doctor is forced to dispose of the patients as quickly as possible, even though he doesn’t know if the serum will be a success. Little does he know, the serum works and the test subjects begin to rise from the shallow graves of the swamplands. It will take a select few to try to stop the wrath of the Swamp Zombies, but can they stay alive while doing it?

Starring: Brian the Blue Meanie Heffron, Jasmin St. Claire, Dan Sever, Pamela Sutch, Shannon Solo

Directed by: Leonoard Kabasinski, Jr

Runtime: 121 minutes

Studio: Killer Wolf Films

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Review: Swamp Zombies

I am passionate about films and always look forward to finding great ones while dreading the truly awful ones. I am not sure to this day what the worst film I have ever seen is but when I take to my rocking chair and watch the sunset many, many years from now, my aging mind may well recall Swamp Zombies as one the finest examples of truly appalling films. Let’s begin! Dr Phillips (Shannon Solo) has been involved in some pretty dodgy experiments at a local hospital and faced with an FBI inspection he hires some local guys to dispose of the bodies. This they do very badly by putting the bodies in a swamp and not weighing them down properly. Dr Phillips’ experiments turn out to have been successful when the bodies come to life and a horde of zombies begins wandering around attacking everyone in sight and either eating them or turning them into zombies as well. It might sound like a traditional silly horror flick and worth a try but bear with me because I haven’t finished yet.

Among the victims elect for the zombies are a group of high school kids and their teacher who delivers one of the worst examples of acting when he can’t get his mobile phone to work. The local police are martial arts experts, which is handy, but it just suggests to me that they’re not overworked and have time to try and imitate the late great Bruce Lee. At one point we have two girls sunbathing by the lake and one, Monica (Pamela Sutch), manages to escape while her friend is devoured. We have a lingering look at a her in a bikini while she is being chased before she takes refuge with another local who finally allows her to cover up. If your approval of a horror film comes down to bare breasts then this may suit you with one amorous camping couple delivering, while Dr Phillips’ colleague Lillian Carter (Jasmin St. Claire) takes a shower at one point and on this occasion the camera manages to stay relatively steady! The worrying thing about this film is its run time of 2 hours! Usually when I watch a bad horror film it is over in less than 90 minutes. No such luck here!

Swamp Zombies is plagued by a series of awful features. First of all, I know this is an amateur effort but the camera work is not great. The poor cameraman clearly had a torrid time working on this one and couldn’t keep still. The sound editing is atrocious. In one scene a guy comes to the reception at the local hospital and as he is a few feet away from the camera we can hardly hear him, yet in the next shot from behind the nurse at reception he can be heard perfectly clearly. Then there is the acting. Oh my! The acting is pretty much non-existent from start to finish. One of the worst examples has to be the police captain (Dan Severn) who is accomplished in martial arts and manages to kick some zombie butt (not very convincingly) but his line delivery is vastly inferior to his hand and feet co-ordination. The zombies themselves have been done up a little bit with effects but they’re not overly convincing and the fight scenes the actors are involved in would have been better choreographed by Frank Spencer.

Swamp Zombies is a piece of film history in that it is so bad it is unbelievable. I’ve seen many films with bad acting but, goodness me, the only acting I saw in this film was from the trees! The camerawork is bad, the sound editing pathetic, the zombies not especially difficult to beat the crap out of and our beloved police captain is hardly the most reassuring of law enforcers especially with that ponytail. I have no doubt I will remember Swamp Zombies for years to come but not for any positive reasons. Worst film ever? Certainly a contender.

Verdict: 1/5

(Film source: reviewer’s own copy)

Film Review: Swamp Zombies

About the Author:

I was born in Barnsley, South Yorkshire, England and have always been a bookworm and enjoyed creative writing at school. In 1999 I created the Elencheran Chronicles and have been writing ever since. My first novel, Fezariu's Epiphany, was published in May 2011. When not writing I'm a lover of films, games, books and blogging. I now live in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, with my wife, Donna, and our six cats - Kain, Razz, Buggles, Charlie, Bilbo and Frodo.

David M. Brown – who has written 831 posts on Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dave.


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