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Film Review: Piranhaconda

Posted on the 24 May 2013 by Donnambr @_mrs_b

Summary:

Piranhaconda can sit shoulder to shoulder with the likes of Mega Piranha and Mega Python vs Gatoroid in the pantheon of truly awful films.

More DetailsAbout Piranhaconda (2011)PiranhacondaWhen a rogue scientist discovers an immense egg in the dark recesses of a rainforest he thinks he’s stumbled across his fame and fortune. But little does he know that it belongs to a terrifying hybrid monster, known only as the Piranhaconda. Soon the beast is on the loose, hunting for its unborn child, rampaging through the country and destroying everything in its path.

 

A terrifying, edge-of-your-seat chomp romp featuring a Hollywood cast and thrills galore – in the same vein as Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, Mega Piranha and Sand Sharks.

Starring: Michael Madsen, Rachel Hunter, Shandi Finnessey

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Runtime: 90 minutes

Studio: Chelsea Films

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Review: Piranhaconda 

Jim Wynorski directs this TV movie which shouldn’t require too much of an explanation from me given the title. Professor Lovegrove (Michael Madsen) is in Hawaii when he locates a nest from which he pilfers a single egg. His two companions are quickly killed by a prianhaconda which is just a snake with a very annoyed expression. How and why these two species have come together is a mystery. The film soon switches to a film crew who are putting together what appears to be a low budget horror movie (oh the irony!). The star is Kimmy (Shandi Finnessey) who spends most of the time in a bikini, complaining about being tired and not favouring having to get up early for a shoot. Also on set is Rose (Terri Ivens) who is working on the script and stuntman Jack (Robert ‘Rib’ Hillis) who fancies Rose but spends most of his time fighting off Kimmy. Little do the group know that there are two giant piranhacondas in the area and they have humans on the menu.

While the piranhacondas begin picking off the film crew, Professor Lovegrove ends up being taken hostage by a group of thugs including Rod Stewart’s ex-wife of all people. The remnants of the film crew comprising Rose, Jack, Kimmy and the director Milo (Chris De Christopher) end up running into the Professor and his kidnappers with those snakes not far behind. A bloodbath ensues and not a very convincing one so who will survive until the end?

 

I didn’t have high hopes for this film from the start and I wasn’t left disappointed. The special effects are utterly awful, I could swear one of the snakes was yellow in one shot and moments later had changed again. There were two snakes on the rampage, of course, but I’m certain this was the same one. The acting isn’t great, most of the characters are pretty annoying but perhaps the greatest tragedy is seeing Mr Blonde – Michael Madsen – appearing in a film as dreadful as this one. I find it worrying that he has to stoop as low as this but I’m noticing a few quite famous names popping up in these films.

 

Piranhaconda can sit shoulder to shoulder with the likes of Mega Piranha and Mega Python vs Gatoroid in the pantheon of truly awful films. It has nothing redeemable about it. If you want to watch a film with embarrassing effects and weak acting then you need look no further. Otherwise you’d be advised not to waste your time on this.

Verdict: 1/5

(Film source: reviewer’s own copy)

 


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